Subject: My very long and tangled thoughts, as per usual.
Posted on: 2020-05-25 05:39:30 UTC

I mean, when we talk about this stuff, there doesn't seem to be any reason why he won't get it. He seems to understand? But he can't do it. In some areas he's improved- he spoiler tags things he didn't before, previously.

But honestly, the problem that I see is that SRPA seems to have a lot of trouble understanding the spirit, rather than just the letter, of the law. For instance, the difference between carefully spoiler tagging things that happen in badfic and making sure to tell people when it's not ok, and straight up posting stuff that is Not Ok- properly warned about, but still unasked for, unwarranted, and purposeless.

The differences in context also seem to be the problem with the barely censored profanity. He understands that we don't type out profanity, but has difficulty complying when told that we have a specific procedure for censoring things- namely, rot13. He doesn't understand when discussing certain topics is for one purpose, and acceptable if properly and carefully marked, and when it's unsolicited, harmful, and not something that's wanted in the community at any time.

The reason this is so concerning is the serious harm it causes others, something I'm not sure if he understands. I don't understand him a lot-it's hard to tell if he is aware of this, which is the kind of thing that makes me feel reluctant to argue for a ban- I just keep hoping I can find something, and it can be fixed.

I feel like I'm not the only one who's reluctant just because of the sheer lack of understanding. As many people have noted, talking with him often just feels strange. In the past, he's done things like continue to refer to people by their original handles after they explicitly changed their name and told everyone about it. The person didn't feel the need to correct them, but referring to someone by one name while everyone else calls them another just feels really strange to me. Often when I discuss things with him, I worry I'm somehow targeting him for these social differences, even though I know that the problem isn't that, and is something completely different. I don't know, I just felt like the topic needed to be brought up.

There's one more topic, sort of unique to me, but also public, that I want to bring up. If anyone feels that this is too much or airing dirty laundry or whatever, please let me know and I'll delete it. That's the topic of SRPA's talking about Curtis. He discusses his brother often in a negative light, which isn't a problem, as plenty of people discuss family stuff and bad family situations in #generic-salt. For context, in some cases he's brought up his brother in completely unrelated conversations. In other cases, he's discussed violence towards his brother. However, on some occasions he's discussed revenge plans towards his brother- at one point he discussed destroying his brother's electronic equipment, which I told him wasn't okay. He posted a screenshot from an article that contained advice which seriously concerned me, to the point where I considered the advice to be bordering on emotional abuse. (The screenshot he sent to chat is included in my subsequent links.) I can't really point to any way that this behavior violates the Constitution. I didn't explicitly ask him to stop, because I didn't feel like I had the right to tell him he couldn't complain about his brother, who SRPA related being strangled by in the past. I did bring up the second instance to a mod. In other words, I don't know if this behavior is objectionable or should be considered an "offense", but I do know that I feel like I've had to talk someone out of behavior I consider violent, and that it was incredibly stressful to do so, and that I never felt sure as to whether I'd have to do it again.

But I don't know if someone who doesn't understand the difference between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law, and the context in which discussions are had, can ever be fully compatible with the PPC. And as others have said, the harm to others isn't worth the effort to try.

Considering the lack of effect that previous bans have had, and the extent to which harm has been done, I would honestly be in favor of a ban for two and a half years, which may seem extreme. But I can't see this behavior changing in a year. I would also be willing to consider a permanent ban.

Reply Return to messages