Subject: Nor can I!
Author:
Posted on: 2014-01-20 20:25:00 UTC

Doctor: No, no, no, you can't map Gallifrey's position, it doesn't have a position, it's... lost.

Fisherman: Well clearly it isn't - you saved it - locking it in a subcontinuum. Shouldn't be all that hard to find.

Doctor: A subwhat?

Disentangler: Don't tell me there's some technobabble that you don't know, Doctor?

Notary: Hardly babble, Disentangler - a subcontinuum is a...

Morgan: Yes. We know what a subcontinuum is.

Doctor: Well I don't!

Agent: [whispers to the Doctor] You know jumpers? And you've got all these fibers that make it up? If that's a continuum, a subcontinuum is like a bobble on the jumper. It's part of it but... not part of it. Does that help?

Doctor: [whispers back] Not really... why are we whispering. Everyone's staring at us.

Agent: I didn't want theNotarytostartcorrectingme

Librarian: Not an unwise decision.

Notary: Children. All of you are children, bickering and squawking back and forth.

Reader: Oh really? How old are you, then, Notary?

Notary: When you address me, you address the office of Spinel Promontor - adjust your tone to suit, Citrine Theorist.

Librarian: You avoided the question, 'Spinel Promontor' - how old are you?

Notary: As if it is relevant - 186.

Fisherman: Excellent!

Librarian: What about the Notary being 186 is excellent?

Fisherman: Well, I was seriously worried about being the youngest one here...

Disentangler: [Bursts out laughing] Hang on! 186? I was still doing my research project at the Academy when I was 186.

Notary: Which shows a distinct lack of academic aptitude, clearly.

Doctor: I never finished mine - I wasn't allowed. They never could get over that incident with the rhinoceros and the kangaroos.

Notary: So it was you who inspired those safety posters - I might have known.

Morgan: [Retrieves a small microphone like device from under the table] OKAY! EVERYBODY PLEASE SHUT YOUR RESPECTIVE PIE HOLES!

Fisherman: What on many, many Earths is that?

Morgan: AN AMPLIFICATION DEVICE. MAYBE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME NOW. CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND!

Fisherman: [Wrestles amplification device away from Morgan] AND WHAT IS THAT?

Morgan: Well, I think it was...

Morgan is interrupted by the materialisation of another TARDIS: a large blue box that just happened to land right in front of the exit door.

Morgan: ...er... hold that thought.

Doctor: Well I don't remember this at all...

The doors of the newly-arrived TARDIS open and the stocky figure of the Ninth Doctor steps out.

9th Doctor: Oh, hello. Who are you lot then?

11th Doctor: I remember, it's the Northern one - hello there! Wow... I'd almost forgotten about the ears, those are quite something.

Reader: Er, Morgan - I think we might have found our first official item of business, because I'm pretty sure what's happening right now can't actually happen.

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