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I have two dogs, Lady and Monty. Lady is a pure black German Shepherd with a long coat, who quite frequently gets compared to a bear. Monty is a Rottweiler/Labrador (we think) cross breed, who was abandoned by his previous owners meaning that he ended up in the care of the RSPCA. They wrestle over who the boss is, but they never actually try to hurt each other. They usually act like big puppies, especially when food is around.

*engages Sueification machine*

I hav 2 kawaii doggies called Lady Midnight and Montezuma Black. Lady Midnight is pure black and is realy a wolf that can turn into a bare if she needs to. Montezuma Black is a puppy and he was going to be killed by some men because they wanted mean rottwielers and hes more liek a labrador, which is much cuter. Their both super loyal to me and if anyone trys to attack me then they hurt them until they run away. They're also really smart and can understand every word I say and even speak to me in they're own speshul barking code.

I have two cats. One called Salom and the other Sabrina.

Salom is all black, male, from a farm and Swedish. HE is pretty smart, and loves to Attack Sabrina. He is somewhat smart, although Sabrina, who is female, tends to be a tiny bit smarter, but he is much braver then him.

CAF ALERT!!!!
I hav e hte most AWESOMEOUS KATTEH!!! HE"S BIG>>> blak.... and pantheryy... (did you know that there is no such thing as a panther?) He is super smartz, talkz, and has vampire fangz. Did IZ mention he is part Vampire? He also has FOUR BATZ wingz.
end CAF ALERT

I have a fish named Joe. He doesn't do much but expect me to clean his water every single day and feed him three times a day. In return, all he does is bubble at me occasionally when I sit near the computer.

OMG gues what? I got this AMZINGLY AWSOMEFUL FISH. yeha. well, he's not actually a fish, he's actually a GIANT WSUID MOSNTER! yeah. i fedd him to much 1 day and he gew AS BIG AS MY HOUSE! itsn' that amazing?!!1!!1!!!11111 and so now he's not a boring goldfish anmore. HES ACTUALLY MADE OF GOLD. yeah. it's prety coo. all my friends are SO TOALLY JELUS OF SAMFIRE THE AWESOMEST (tats his name)!!!

Ow. Firefox's handy dandy ability to underline the misspelled words is making looking that even worse, if that's possible...

Tinker blast and damn! Argh! Is my face red...

Not that I really mind, anyway. :D

Now, this is a tough one. My pet has blond hair and blue eyes, and he already does all sorts of useful things, like making me a cup of tea in the morning, and going to the shops for me, and hanging my washing out to dry, and making me more cups of tea, and he always makes me laugh. Which sounds a bit CAF-like as it is, except he's human, and he's technically a housemate rather than a pet. Nonetheless.

I have a pet monkey, and he is the most awesomest monkey in the whole world. He does everything I tell him to, because he's really really smart (except when it's funnier that he's silly). Sometimes my monkey lets me put him in a suit and he acts as a butler, and answers the door to let my amazing cool friends in, and he fixes us all drinks and stuff. They say money doesn't grow on trees, but that's a lie - it does, but only my amazing monkey knows where that tree is. He's also really sleek and cute with white hair and azure eyes, and all the girl-monkeys want his uber-kawaii monkey babies.

,,,

And now I feel slightly dirty.

The charge list doesn't need to be as long as your arm to be viable, and after a skim, I think there's enough to get it to the point that the 'Sue deserves killing.

(Hey, if I'm writing something for Fight of Metal Gears, I'm sure something this size is manageable, haha)

Though it's smaller than it used to be, back in the days that I also always had some ink on my fingers from my fountain pen.

I still write a lot by hand. I think about half (perhaps a little more) of the stuff I write gets a first draft by hand and then type it all up. Depending on how much editing I want to do I take pen (for complete scene rewrites) or computer (SGP).

Okay, Murphy's a big fat sable-pattern ferret, with a bad case of hairless tail (something to do with his last moult going funny, the vet assures us it should grow back). He used to be a stray, and was in an unfortunate accident which, to put it bluntly, circumcised him, poor little guy. He's cute and huggable and I've trained him to lick my nose on command ("kiss!" - awwww ^_^) but he has the disgusting habit of drinking his own urine, then trying to lick inside my nose and mouth, so I don't do that often.

Jinx is smaller, skinnier, and yellow. He doesn't do hugs as much, he's a wriggly little monster and he's always gotta be doing something. He still bites sometimes, but he has an excuse because he appears to have been neglected a bit as a kit. I haven't been able to train him to do anything except let go when I yell at him for biting me again.

*turn on Sueify machine*

Okay, after Sueification, Murphy's tail hair is back ... and he now has three of them, which he can spin around really fast to fly with like a helicopter. Instead of being different shades of brown, his fur is now raven black and snowy white (it actually physically hurt to type that). In place of his unfortunate injury from when he was a stray, he now has a dramatic battle scar on his shoulder, where it's clearly visible and a lot less embarrassing, from one of the many times he saved Sue-me's life. He now understands English perfectly rather than just obeying one command when he feels like it, and he no longer has his bad habit of drinking his own urine because I'm pretty sure Cute Animal Friends don't excrete. (It's not "cute" to mess everywhere, and if they don't have to pass waste a Sue can keep them in her pocket/handbag/bra for as long as she wants.)

Jinx now has bright gold-coloured fur instead of pale yellow, and he understands English as well. Instead of merely being able to squeeze through most small gaps I don't want him to squeeze through, he now has the power to phase through solid walls. And rather than simply never having suffered any interesting injuries, he has magical regeneration powers! And teeth which can puncture solid steel! And super-speed! And ... argh, this is painful to imagine.

I have a cat named Merlin, only he's living with my mom because the apartment here is really too small. Anyway, he's a platinum-mink Tonkinese, which is really impossible to accurately describe, so here's a picture--a friend of mine took it while catsitting. He's quite an intelligent cat, very people-friendly. He'll reach up your leg to be picked up like a little kid. However, he's a bit skittish, and he can be very mouthy when he thinks he needs something we're not giving him. Also, while he generally never bites or claws--and he has all of them--he would get angry at me for leaving for extended periods of time (like a weekend) and not be satisfied until he'd taken it out on my arm. Just me, mind, no one else. {= P I maintain that he once deliberately spilled hot tea on me, too.

Now, while that's long-winded enough to be a CAF description, I can do better.

HI I have a kewl kitteh named Merlin, because he's part Kneazle and super-smart! He follows me around like a dog and protects me! His fur is totally silver and pale gold colored, and he has sapphire-emerald eyes (they're kinda both!)! Also he's part dragon, but he pretends to be a cat because its easier, but that's why he can telelport and fly and stuff. And he can talk! Kawaiiiiiii! ^____^

... Yeah. >.
~Neshomeh

Incidentally, Luxury is coming!

I don't have an account, but it's fair to say that I'm responsible for most edits around the time this post was made.

In recompense, have several Anti-Lustin Squirt Guns, Darts, Submachine Guns and Kunai, folowed up by a golden Sandworm.

"I got the impression that they had started reclaiming yellow zones, such as Germany, but it was going to take decades to complete."

Likely, but I still think that they should have focused on the Red Zones. After all, they're the bigger threat. If you focus tech on working in a Red Zone, it will definitely work in a Yellow. However, what if they focused tech on Yellow Zones and found that it didn't cut it in a Red Zone? Lose.

"going by the brand new england red zone."

England's a Red Zone now? Cool. *looks outside*

"Gas masks would prevent inhaling the toxic gas and tiny pieces of tiberium, although a full-body composite hazmat suit would of course be better."

Yeah, but you'd have to take both off to eat and drink and everything, so what's the point?

"Second paragraph comes from the Scrin campaign and intel database."

Right, right, PC version came with intel stuff. I have the Xbox for both TW and KW.

"GDI did do well with the Tacitus, aside from the part where they nearly blew both it and Chennyne Mountain up by knowingly performing risky experiments."

Just go through the Stargate, people! Go through the Stargate!

"Going by the stuff released about Tiberium Twilight, blowing it up would possibly have doomed humanity."

Well, duh? If it was created by good Scrin warning Earth about bad Scrin...

"In the ending where it is used, it takes out nearly everything in europe via tiberium chain reaction."

Awesome. I heard about that vaguely, that Michael Ironside resigns because you're a war criminal.

One epic fail on the part of EA is that the mutants vanished. What? There was no explanation and they were a major part of everything. Especially since, you know, they were the only ones to have any success cracking the Tacitus rapidly. But no, they suddenly live in random hovels in cruddy places.

sadly nothing I didn't already know.

Followed shortly by 'KILL!'

(Thou shalt not use Celtic faery-ness to generate cheap angst and implausible plot devices, because the Sidhe are awesome. At least, when they're done properly.)

I once had a border collie named Dixie. She never liked me, but she was still a good dog, and she was smart. She was mostly black, with white on her muzzle and chest, and on the tip of her tail.

Hang on, lemme get in the zone.

I had a dog thats part WOLF. She hs pure midngiht black fur and skyblue eyes that GLOW IN TEH DARK. Whe was so smart she could TLAK.And she was relly relaly loyal an ended up dyeing to saev my lief. OH TEH TRADEGY.

I have a cat. She's quite beautiful, with a black coat and white paws, and intelligent enough to know that being held and surrounded by people offering treats means she's about to be force-fed worm paste, and enough to know when I'm about to head for the study chair (because my morning routine is always the same), and bolt towards the room fast enough to curl up before I get there.

ERROR! ERROR! Not Sueish. REBOOT.

i have a kyut kitty namd EMERLAND GREEN IYES whose supr smart & can answer phones and typ on mny computr an chk the weather chanle evry mornin!

When I was a boy, I had a rabbit named Carrot-Muncher. He was a dark gray minilop, and had imprinted on people, so he was very sociable and very forgiving. He ate the stems of the carrots, not the roots (Pretty convenient Jack and Mrs. Spratt division, no?) He took ill and died two months short of his fourth birthday, alas.

[CAF OWNER="gary stu", DEGREE="FF"]i once had a coney named Carrotsbane. He had sleek chinchilla fur taht shone like the stars and mood ring ears he LIVED for people. boy did he live up to his name!!!1 he was almsot 4 wen he died oh angst.[/CAF]

"Go ahead. Help yourselves."

I'll adopt the mini-Tribble.