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My mom was telling me about this guy she knew named Morning.

And I used to call myself thus: Nyx Artemus Saga le Fay. Thankfully, I stopped. *is ashamed*

(Yes, Artemus. The babyname site said it was real. D:)

This Sue is causing me to be speechless.

...I went to grade school with a boy named Sky. Just remembered. XD

...does the daemon talk a lot, to little point and purpose? (Pelloneus = Polonius? From Hamlet? No? My attempt to make the badfic funny...)

"began my descend" ?
"challenge rating" ?
Kill it dead, please.

My history teacher was telling me about a girl he went to school with named "Moonbeam Meadows".

Sounds like a housing development...

... as are many of the kids of my parents' classmates (at UC Berkeley in the '70s).

I went to high school with Arwen and Eowyn, but my school is named Avalon, so...

The Dean of Students at my school is named Tom Riddel. No joke.

"The dangers of almost copying the script..." Brilliant.

Egyptology nerds, I mean.

April and Lora would like to kill the Kira one. Well, actually, Lora could care less, but April really wants to kill it.

My grandma used to teach a boy named Guy. Unfortunately, when the poor lad's parents chose the name, they'd only ever seen it written down, and, seemingly, took a random guess at the pronunciation - Gooey. Presumably he liked the name, because no one ever called him Guy.

The mind would boggle had it not already been so deeply traumatised by the horrendously bad baby names site someone linked to earlier.

three girls called Storme, Sequoia and Tsunami. The latter two were sisters.

Perhaps not too unusual, considering some of the names out there. No one ever got their names mixed up with other people's.

She's about thirty now, I think. When I met her I was too young to know that Arwen was a character - I just thought it was a pretty name.

I checked. It's not on there. Hoo boy. I'd love to PPC her.

Check the list of "Claimed Badfic" on the wiki, though.

"Mr Elrond"? What, is she TRYING to be dragged back to OFUM? *sigh*

From Golden Compass/Northern Lights section:
A Change in Behaviour by BeautifullyTragic01
Mrs. Coulter visits Lyra one night before bed. Rated T for slightly adult themes. Oneshot. Lemon.

I don't know if this one is long/explicit enough to warrant attention from the Bad Slashers, but I'll include it anyway. The author definitely hasn't read The Amber Spyglass if she's writing this.

Me and Pelloneus by Kaffeine Morgan reviews
My daemon ,Pelloneus, is in grave danger from a dark spirit.Pelloneus Pell for short , is also starting to settle into a fox.

Holy run on sentences and punctuation abuse, Batman! Bad spellings, random capitalisation and logic failure are also present, and that's just the first, extremely short, chapter.

Life In Eyes of Kira by Sabaku no Kiri (does that even make sense, Japanese speakers?) reviews
Kira is Mrs. Coulters first Daughter. What will happen To Lyra with Kira Involved? Why does Kira Hate Lyra? Why hasn't Kira's daemon settled? This is 15 year old Kira's story, and according to her Lyra was the worst thing ever to happen in the world.

The Sue's daemon (how does that work, Sues have no soul!) has a Japanese name (Kuro), despite being English. He hasn't settled, even though the Sue is fifteen. She's undergone intercision (yes, HDM fans, you read that right), and is a perfectly functional being. She has WINGS(WTF?!). Oh, and she's Asriel and Coulter's daughter, and she blames Lyra for her parents splitting up.

The Golden Ball by reese-nicole-michelle reviews
Lyra now lives with her parents and gets a strange present for her birthday

Work out the fail for yourself. Roger is still alive, the Gyptians are invited to her birthday party. She has a brother.

Got Love?" by Sharin Yofitasari reviews
Billy almost die because he lost his daemon, Ratter. But Mr. Alfa helped him to recovered his life. Sharin -Mr. Alfa's daughter- like Billy, then they become a best friend. Finally, they love each other.

The fail...it's sapping...my will...to live...

I was going to check the main His Dark Materials section, but the Golden Compass/Northern Lights fail robbed me of my determination. Still, five fics is plenty to go on, right?

Lotus, Autumn, and Sophie, we only ever knew them by their anglicised names. My ex supervisor was addressed as Veronica, but her name was actually Hyun-Ju. I've also known a Gilbert from Korea, and a Bob, from Japan!

If they're going after a particular version (such as the Disney movies) then they're fair game. Straight fairy tales have so many different versions that it's hard to judge what's canon and what's not, so I think we mostly avoid them.

Bad Slash and such involving canon fairy tale characters could probably be PPCed, if the violations are obvious.

... claimed to have worked with a not-terribly-smart-overall woman who became pregnant and told everyone in the office that she couldn't decide whether to name her child Wayne or Dwayne. Her surname was Swayne.

Mercifully she got married to a guy named Bedford or something, who also persuaded her to pick a less cringeworthy first name.

my brother's called Timothy. He absolutely hates it, and refuses to answer to it. And it gets confusing if our parents are trying to call one of us downstairs/get us to answer the phone, since Tim and Kim sound similar.

My brother hates his name even more since he found out that I was apparently the one who named him.

Forgot to mention it in the original post, but Christianne enjoys setting fire to things, thinking up creative ways to kill 'Sues, drawing, reading, being snarky, and annoying the Hell out of Upstairs by constantly asking for that license.
Her CLL levels run as thus:
Naruto (know-it-all), HP (semi know-it-all), LotR (I read the Canon only ONCE, just to get me into this division and kill Mary Sues)

Hey, my Chinese name may mean "precious jewel" or if you don't write it correctly..."moon", but here in America, it's the very bane of me.
Pronounced the Western way, it sounds like a personal pronoun. Who wants the world to think they were named after a personal pronoun? GAHHHHHH! I adopted a more normal moniker when I started grade school, but nooooo, my parents registered me under the Terrible Chinese Name Of Doom. So now, I'm constantly correcting my teachers and subs. Why me? *sobs*
Oh and my Chinese name is Yue.

My real name (and that of my sister) are both plant derivatives, but it could have been so much worse, if we had been boys we would have been Timothy and Basil! And my dad being a tolkein nut we could easily have been Gladrial and Arwen!

Where The Wind Takes You

It's the canon-breaking things that make me mad here...
Uhhhhh...are you sure people call Lord Elrond "Mr. Elrond sir", especially an Elf? Ok, nevermind, that's Mary Sue...Ariel. Honestly. ARIEL. She even mispells her own name once! And Pearl Muddifoot? Who in Eru's green Arda would have a surname like that? Wait...I never knew Elrond adopted Hobbits! And yelled like Denethor!
(okay, okay, I'm rambling. But GAAAAAH! If this fic isn't already claimed, I swear to Manwe I shall claim it!)