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But actually like this. {= )

~Neshomeh

I'm not sure how to pronounce Acacia's name this whole time. Is it "Aca-see-a" or "Akasha"?

Do you want me to change it?

-kA, who actually is thinking of recruiting her brother, Michael, for the PPC, and may or may not post the bit they have written thus far.

Glorious

I'm really looking forward to finding out when (if???) the [BEEEEP] shows up. I almost want to skip ahead! ... almost.

On the same score, I have a feeling Architeuthis actually worked it into her backstory herself. Didn't her first mission start with "and then they sent back a recruitment form"? Again... I'll find out soon enough.

I don't think Jay and Acacia ate the Suvian. There's mention of "a few orcs... enjoying a surprise dinner". That said... isn't "water" on the PPC substance menu, meaning just Suvian blood? I... hmm, it looks like the Substance List first appears too late for the preliminary PPC+20 list (it's attested from November 2003), but yes, it lists two different Suvian-based products. You can be allergic to glitter (lowercase g), but no other issues are noted.

hS

Alice, of course, was having difficulty thinking of her next fic.

She wanted to write a fanfic taking place in her favorite series (which she had thus far neglected to write about), but where would she start? Maybe with her favorite, Blades? She twirled her blond hair around her finger. James at school would probably tease her to death about writing the "baby Blades, you baby" if she were to ever reveal it. She sighed. That's probably what was holding her back, this miniature version of James living rent-free in her skull and-

The first two paragraphs from the RBAF. I'm stuck on the recruiting part, but I am working on it. Hopefully, the first chapter should be done soon-ish.

-kA, who can't type real well due to shaking hands.

Just a heads up: I've mostly watched the G1 cartoons and not rescue bots but I'll try my best.

Student's Name: James Wilson

Species: Human

Age: 17

Gender: Male (he/him)

Appearance: Average height, slightly chubby, brunette hair that could probably use a haircut. He'd probably wear this shirt or something similar with jeans and trainers. He also wears glasses.

Personality: The faux intellectual type who thinks he's about 10 times more mature than he actually is. Considers anything short of grimdark "baby stuff" and anyone who doesn't like grim and edgy stuff dumb babies. Likes to read his phone while hiding it inside an intellectual looking book. Often uses deep sounding quotes wrong since he doesn't really understand them.

Favorite Character: If he had to pick one it would probably be whoever's grittiest.

Anything else noteworthy?: Never actually watched the show aside from a few scenes he saw his sister watch. Decided to write fanfic that would "improve" the story by making it more "realistic" (aka. edgy). Most of his knowledge comes from wiki pages and the other transformers series he's watched.

Ok here's the other one.

Student's Name: Louise Wilson

Species: Human

Age: 16

Gender: Female (she/her)

Appearance: Slightly above average height, longish brown hair tied in pigtails. She wears large glasses with one of the arms haphazardly taped on, a transformers merch shirt, jean shorts and trainers. She also has a costume of one of her OCs made entirely of cardboard boxes.

Personality: Loud and boisterous, tends to try and dominate any conversation she's in. Loves to ramble. Likes drawing and painting. Squees at stuff. A lot. Especially if it's cute. Pretty obnoxious about her OCs.

Favorite Character: Her OCs of course <3

Anything else noteworthy?: She mostly writes OC fic. When she's not writing OC fic she's drawing her OCs. Unfortunately she focuses more on how cool they look and how her OC team are basically the main characters but better (or are the ideal romantic partners for them) than on giving them a proper personality. Beyond their AWESUM exteriors and single defining personality trait they're all either empty shells, clones of canon characters or self inserts. She loves the series and making OCs is her way of showing that, but she's not yet learned how not to churn out 10 Mary Sues a day.

I think the mission length was just right and I like that the agents had to suffer from the aftermath.

-Ozzielot

Again, the console isn't said to make any sound; the mission is announced through flashing lights. I didn't remember that the [BEEP] wasn't present from the start, and I'm curious to see how long it takes to start appearing.

This entire mission forgoes direct quotes of the badfic! Not a single line of the original document appears. We only know what happens through Jay and Acacia discussing it. Nonetheless, we pretty much know everything that happens to break canon, some of it before the agents even enter the fic itself. This, again, allows the agents to just vibe their way through Middle-earth, contrasting with Phoenix's insertion into the thick of a major historical event and family. But also, wow, that body disposal method . . . I guess the authors hadn't imagined that Suvian glitter was dangerous yet—or maybe they hadn't even established Suvians being made of glitter in their headspace yet? I guess with the post-mission photo op in Orthanc, they remained orcs long enough that their stomach contents didn't make them sick when the disguises were removed . . .

"Civilian Architeuthis." We've of course worked this into Agent Architeuthis's backstory as a prelude to her entering HQ and joining Intelligence, but I wonder how much her author's fic rec here inspired the idea of such a department existing in-universe?

—doctorlit, re: re: rereading

Glad you liked the descriptions and such - it's been something I've found lacking in my writings recently, so it's nice to know there's some improvement happening. And yeah, the Suvian was definitely a Thing. Dunno why he was made as nasty as he was, actually, but it made the missioning of this a whole lot easier. (and no flinching? nerves of steel, man. nerves of steel. kudos!)

Anyway, thanks again!

-OrangeFox

Glad you liked the agent interactions! (and the puns that had, like, zero thought intentionally put into them)

For the fic proper, though? Yeah, I very much would like to clarify this isn't a YKINMK-based mission. While the more kink-based content is definitely easy to make the unprepared suffer with (mostly Jiwon in this case, 'cuz he's kind of a prude), the reason this fic got chosen for a spork was because of 1: A complete lack of consent to the transformation or ensuing (very canon-breaking) sexualization, and 2: A nearly comically smug Suvian that was practically begging for a poetic takedown. Just wanted to clear that up, sorry.

-OrangeFox

Haven't been reading many missions recently and this one was nice and short and entertaining!

Hey I know I'm super inactive on here but I've decided to change my handle from QuantumMelody29 to MelTheMel because why not. Also I turned 18 last wednesday. Gonna try and be a bit more active on here instead of just lurking on discord.

Again, I can't say that the interlude will be the next thing I publish, PPC-wise (I'm actually getting more done on the third mission than I am on the interlude) but I can say it will be published.

Eventually.

In other news, I crossposted it to AO3. Can't link it now (a bit busy) but I will try to link it later.

-kA, who didn't even realize that Paye's name replaced Emily's, although it makes sense for Paye to buy books.

I love all the ways you presented the Drusleys. The t-posing scene was the best by far, but all their wooden movements and deadpan word delivery was extremely amusing! And poor Madeline being inside the table . . . I like to think they were happy to blend back into canon just to get her out of there! The idea of a mansion in the middle of Privet Drive is hilarious, too. Imagine how envious Vernon and Petunia would have been! I also like the idea of the PPC-themed card deck, and wonder what all the faces are . . .

Glad to hear more of Null's backstory, and the unusual circumstances of his recruitment, too. Should be fun meeting his family and seeing how they adjust to the PPC setting!

A couple errors, both coincidentally involving Paye's name:

Paue ignored him and read the mission report on the console.

[Paye] bought lots of books with the money.
(I think that's supposed to be Emily's name in the brackets.)

—doctorlit thinks Emily at least had good taste in shopping priorities

I like your take on the generic, undescribed room, with the infinity walls and the slightly squishy surfaces. I also enjoyed how you gave Victoria extra screen time, and let her become more than just a background character while she was hanging out on the sidelines.

That was an unusually satisfying assassination. I kind of go back and forth on how much assassination should be used in missions, but when the Suvian is flagrantly making themselves the antagonist in their own fic . . . yeah, makes it an easy decision.

—doctorlit was having milk with cereal the whole time he read this, and he didn't even flinch once

"Now," murmured Alexandra ffinch, "would be a great time for me to own a hip flask."

The moon hung high and silver over the Colombian mountains. The air was thick with the scent of flowers. The Casa Madrigal was asleep, as evidenced by a gently snoring wardrobe in Alexandra's nursery-room-dorm-thing, which might well have been a hint. If it was, her irritating roommate had taken it long ago. At least they didn't snore. Not that Alexandra could complain; her own snoring sounded like a chain-smoking tractor with a bassoon in the exhaust. Mater had recorded it once. She'd laughed at the time, because everyone else was.

Alexandra padded over to the door and opened it slowly, trying to avoid any squeaks. She couldn't remember if Dolores Madrigal's super-hearing turned off at night, but she wasn't about to take any chances. "Heh," she mumbled aloud, without really realizing she was doing so. "The woman lives in a house with other people's kids. I'm amazed she didn't go completely nuts." There was no response. Of course there wasn't. Alexandra moved on.

Down the stairs, steps light, through the courtyard under the moon. Every breath was sweet and fragrant. Alexandra scrunched up her face in disgust. "God, it's so sickly." There was no reply. The flowers didn't seem to want her opinion either. She kept walking.

At last, the kitchen. It was the heart of Casa Madrigal, or at least one of the more important internal organs. "Come on, come on, donde esta el boozo, this is a place with Camilo Madrigal in it, there's bound to be something to drink somewhere..." She looked through the shelves and racks, trying not to wake anyone up. "Or anything." Nothing responded, of course. "But then why would it?"

She sat down at the table. By chance, it was at her assigned seat, with her assigned crockery in front of her. A pattern of hummingbirds and tropical flowers ran around the edge, with the name Alexandra in a jaunty font at the bottom. She rested her head on the table. "Urgl," she said. Eloquent as always. "Argh." Such a way with words. She lifted her head up just far enough to fold her arms underneath it. The fabric was soft and brightly coloured and wasn't the same hoodie she'd worn for two weeks straight because laundry meant dealing with people. It wasn't hers, was the point. Everything was so... it was all just...

"Nice." She said it aloud, made it sound like an insult, didn't realise she was doing either. "It's all so bloody, bloody nice. It's bright colours and upbeat songs and forgiving all thy trespasses. It's ghastly. And I'm stuck. The others might not have caught it in what that manipulative old bat said at dinner but she can't pull one over on me. We get out when we write something that's to their satisfaction. Which means writing something jolly and positive and oh so very nice. And until then? I'm stuck here. I'm stuck being condescended to by the Latinx-Men because I don't think abusers deserve forgiveness. I'm stuck living in We Have Hogwarts At Home with a bunch of stupid kids, and that's just the ones who aren't teachers. I'm stuck here until I learn to toe the line and bite my tongue and be a good little uncritical simpering Disney Adult. I'm stuck!"

She hadn't meant to shout that last word, and in the silence that followed she pressed her face deeper into her folded arms. That was when she heard the footsteps, and looked up into Camilo's eyes.

"Uh, hey, you're one of the students, right? Alejandra? Look, I know it's new here, but it's not gonna be so bad-"

Alexandra's face twisted into a snarl. "Don't you have someone more interesting to pretend to be?"

The words were out of her mouth before she could cover it up. Her eyes went wide. "Oh Christ, I, I didn't mean-"

"Wow. Rude much? Last time I try and help." And Camilo walked away.

Alexandra walked back up the stairs, feet light to hide her passing. She turned the doorknob and went to bed. The wardrobe was still snoring, still a hint that she should sleep.

She couldn't take it.

Girl, if you're going to be wrong, at least don't be so aggressively wrong. ... She thinks it's called "Latin America" because they actually speak Latin there, doesn't she. *facepalm*

Dolores, why do you think they'd be serving alcohol to a bunch of minors? Also, why do you think they wouldn't have juice? {X D

These people are very silly. I look forward to them being broken gently persuaded out of it.

The "we don't talk about Bruno!" bit made me laugh. Seems like something that would definitely happen. ^_^

~Neshomeh