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And they read the books, too. That's always sad, when they read the books and still write badfic...

Kelok gets nothing but Headaches, first from Unger and then from a solo mission to erase public kissing during Watson's badfic death.

What could possibly go wrong when Unger goes for a walk around HQ with the minis? Find out in Maybe You Should Have Shot Him (Agents Miah and Cali make a guest appearance)

Not Such a Good Idea After All -- NSFW, NSFB

Pardon me, my brain has just divided by zero.

... Meh. *glomps the both o' ya*

Good to see you, hS. And hi to Kaitlyn, too. ^_^

~Neshomeh

You know, for all of its bad points, it's not the worst story I've ever read...There was the one with Harry (who inexplicably had catboy features), Lord Voldemort, and a horribly abused plate of pasta (before you ask--DON'T!); and then there was the other story with Harry Potter and Lucius Malfoy in a consensual BD/SM relationship (Malfoy top...distrubing, hey?)
I've only ever heard my one friend (the one my age, Brooke) talk about the KH characters, so...the only help I can give is by point out all the bad things that this author is doing in relationship to sex.

Found a handy little thing that's going to pop up in my next mission--it's by a guy named Minotaur, and it's a guide (written specifically for fanfic authors) about everything related to gay sex . Just from the description, I think the author of the badfic needs this like Bella needs a brain.

-Honu_Wahine

I'm glad your internet problems are fixed, at least to an extent; I did e-mail you about this before, if I recall, so I'm glad you're interested. Ontic has the potential for awkwardness due to her past, but one of the viewpoint characters is too new to recognise her and the proprietor would make sure she isn't given trouble; he's a very "leave your problems at the door" type. Besides, that potential makes this sort of thing interesting. :P

It was pretty bloody awesome.

I heard there was a Beaker, too, but I didn't see him... And someone cosplaying as Soul got me watching Soul Eater. Nospoilerspl0x.

My friend was GLaDOS, and someone else was the Companion Cube (they took a picture together). I didn't cosplay, though I wanted to--no time, no resources, yeah. Maybe next year I'll do something simple, like a No-Face.

...Move along, folks. Nothin' to see here.

(Glad you're sort-of back! You've been missed.)

Excellent! No, I did not go to Connecticon; couldn't get time off from work, was busy, and am busy saving for Seattle Gathering, because I have been threatened advised not to sleep under bridges.

But how was it? New Haven this year, right? Any cool people about?

I agree. I don't know the canons involved, though I've heard of them, but even the summary just... eurgh. Suffice to say that It disturbs me.

Will FanficLand be re-opening for business again this year?

out of my Agents, since he's the only (living) Agent I've written most stuff about.

At the end of my most recent mission (which is set back in 2006, though - my Agents' timeline is all out of whack), Logan and Entropy accidentally portalled a posessed Radagast in the form of a grizzly bear, an invisible giant lynx, and a horde of Elves into the cafeteria, trashing it and instigating a giant fight...

I get the feeling that's not the kind of incident Logan is ever going to be able to live down: "Hey, you're the guy that trashed the cafeteria, right?"

Elcalion

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?! I think my brain just melted. And I only read the summary. W. T. F. Just...What. The hell.
I can't currently write any missions as I have a boatload of summer homework to complete, but I completely sympathize. It's not often that I find a summary that can Wait. Scratch that. I can find a lot of summaries like that. Am I the only one here who wants to bury the author in the Marianas Trench for that?
Oh Hades, someone get me a shotgun and some bleepka.

Honu_Wahine

You can use Winston. Chliever isn't allowed in any of HQ's eating establishments except the Cafeteria, and that's only because he couldn't possibly make the food any worse.

... Sambar's wrong (I should know; he's mine). The PPC isn't going to degenerate into a planet-destroying network of uncaring wossnames, simply because that's not even a story. I can demonstrate what those missions would look like by pointing you to my "friend" Jaycacia Thornbyrd:

The first thing she saw on arrival was, naturally enough, a Mary-Sue. Using her secret powers, given to her at birth by a wandering daffodil, she deleted the ‘Sue from the story. Any other Assassin, having killed the ‘Sue – by normal means, as only Jaycacia had the power to alter the story at will – would have expected the Canon to snap back, but Jaycacia was not fooled. There were still thirteen more ‘Sues, along with a host of Cute Animal Friends, to destroy.

So destroy them she did. Standing there in the clearing, Jaycacia stretched out and, with a fraction of her powers, deleted the uncanons one by one. Once she was satisfied that the story was fixed, she opened a portal back to HQ using the power of her mind – no need for silly Remote Activators – and stepped back into her room.

If that was what missions turned into, no one would write them, and there would be no PPC.

Oh, and yes, it was a joke article, but written as a gentle warning that things might be getting a bit over the top. Which seems to have worked.

And have you seen Catastrophe Theory?

hS, just bobbing in and out

Doesn't look like it. I got one that was the wrong file format, but obviously that doesn't work, and then I was on vacation. ^_^; So, if you want to send it over as a .doc, I can get to that.

~Neshomeh

... since it's post-Crashing Down, Ontic's back on the scene. She doesn't really have a job to do, and she's got a lot of guilt weighing on her head, so she drinks rather a lot. She's pretty quiet and keeps to herself, though, but is likely to be found in the corner of a pub nursing a glass of something. She'd also be wearing her black sweatshirt with a grey bar running across the chest; subtle, she ain't.

hS

(PS: I'm sort of back online, sort of not. We'll see where I get to)

I went. It was amazing. (Also, it was my first con. I am happy.)

ThisBoarder wants to know if any other PPCers were there. If so, what'd ya think?

…in her slain double's body and with all subconscious commands removed. Oh, and Melpomene is there with her rookie partner Fearn, a strategist New Paradigm Dalek (with the Human Factor, like all Dalek Agents) whom she is currently owning at Xiangqi.

*though just la-la-ing along, because she's got no talent for filking, but very enthusiastically*

You can use Kestrel and Mordecai. Kestrel is a female ferret (about the equivalent of seventeen years old) from Redwall, with a very heavy vermin accent. Mordecai, or Cai, is a Potterverse wizard of Chinese descent, about twenty-ish.

I know I gave you folks some Goodfic, but I also feel it is my duty to report Badfic as well:

Title: Revenge of the Ukes (Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4866942/1/RevengeOfThe_Ukes)
Continuum: Tales of Symphonia/Kingdom Hearts crossover
Summary: What happens when genis and roxas dont want to be ukes anymore? RAPE OF COURSE Pairings: RokuZelo GeniAku AkuROku ZeloGeni, I DONT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR TALES OF SYMPHONIA! ..silhouette saloon wrote the genis parts :P I wrote the Roxas parts.. :DDDDDDDDDD

My response: What. the. HELL?!?! The concept is bad enough, but this is TWO OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE JRPGS HERE! Gah, just... GAH!!! So if anyone could take a crack at this... ABOMINATION... that would be much obliged.

Yeah, there'd undoubtedly be more than one pub in HQ. The logic I was operating on would be that bars and pubs - at least a few - would pop up just due to necessity considering how often agents come out of fics in desperate need of a drink, alcohol or otherwise. At the very least, we know there's also the PPC Bleepka Bar. The one featured is just supposed to be a rather popular one.