Subject: [[OOC: Change 'belif' into belief.]]
Author:
Posted on: 2010-07-18 04:51:00 UTC
[[Also, does anyone else find the Hacker to be a more intersting person than Burning Visionary? It can't be just me.]]
Subject: [[OOC: Change 'belif' into belief.]]
Author:
Posted on: 2010-07-18 04:51:00 UTC
[[Also, does anyone else find the Hacker to be a more intersting person than Burning Visionary? It can't be just me.]]
hoiw neatt! koooooliseess!
[[Also, does anyone else find the Hacker to be a more intersting person than Burning Visionary? It can't be just me.]]
Your spelling and grammar is mostly good. Will you join Honest Critic's internet petition to the Admins? We need every member we can get.
like, to redeem my inner suethor, like, if it even exists...
Hmm, haven't tried parody in a while. Need to get back into the swing- maybe some bad Shakespearan stuff? Messed-up syntax? Thanks for posting, didn't even know your 'poor little website' existed!
theyre usin OLDSPEK!!1!!! wom um i didnt knoww ny1 stil used dat
but ew um u culdve bin ls grafic i mean yea dwarfvs need 2 gt laid bt u dint hav 2 SHOW itTT!!!!
It is not Oldspek it is Olde Englishe. And alot of people don't use it only Dwarves. I figured it out when I was reading the mission where Agent Eamon saved an Orc from someone. Agent Eamon says "ye" when he means "you" and that is Olde Englishe and if one Dwarf uses it then they all must because that is how it works in fantasy worlds. And I bet you wouldnt mind it if there were Elves getting laid instead of Dwarves. Everyone is racism against Dwarves!
but elfs R HAWWWWT!!!
Compared to your peers (with a few exceptions, of course), your grammar and spelling are very good. You have several errors, of course, but overall it is clear that you have done your best with the skills you have - at least in your story. Your profile could still use some work.
Would you be interested in joining a new movement for the general improvement of grammar and spelling on this website? I am trying to recruit at least fifty supporters before bringing my petition to the FanficLand Admin.
You have my support, Honest Critic.
[[OOC: Heh, heh, heh.]]
I will put your name on the list immediately.
[[*snicker, snicker* Indeed, this is fun ;0 -Sedri]]
I wonder - should I collect them, too? We could find a place to post them, somewhere. Or maybe those of you who've written them should post them on your own LJs (or wherever) and we can make a link list on the wiki or something...
oooooOOOOOOooooyyy i lik ur teek shs=es soo sad n londly & theyre story iz soo SADDS! writ more SOOOOOOOOONNNN!N!N!N!!!
i red ur profil 2 & i knoow wat u mean!! iwant 2 chnge my nme 2 bt my folkss wnt let m. cysika iz a mch btr name dan my reel 1!!!
i wish i owned these agents... oh well.
ill defintley try 2 get antoehr chappie up soon!
Cyskia is a rly prerty name, ur right! evil parents!
ur such a gud riter!!!!!! i hop they get 2gether do they get 2gether omg tell me they gget 2gether!!!!!!!!!! do more now!!!!!!!
I shudder to think of what would happen if the more flamethrower-happy agents read about themselves on FanficLand...
Also, your totally right: bi guys are sexy! :-P
whose L & y dnt hemilcok lyk her @ 1st????
[[Interesting twist. As for said horrifying scene, I maybe the awful spelling would allow our brains to get through it intact? --Sedri]]
I think it'd be too hard to write in txtspk, and those aren't really the kind I find funniest anyway. The ones I always find funnier are the ones with horribly inappropriate descriptions or words ("mancarrot", to give one example) and physically impossible actions, and I don't know if that's too explicit for the Fanfic Land game.
L iz AWESUM!!!q!!!Q EVwn if iI cant spel hr name rite. n he idid not lyke her 1ss cos he thot he wuz gay an so did eevry1 else but hes not rilly.
...Honest Crtic, but her concerns are legitimate.
ITS OBVIUS YU DONT KNOW ANYTHIN ABOT GUD FICSHUN YOU HOAR!!!!!!!! GO DIE IN A HOLE!!!!!!! I HAV CONSERNS 4 U!!!!!!
And I have concerns for you.
AN I HAV CONSERNS 4 UR MOM!
[[Because I am apparently that childish =D ~ Silikat]]
Child, listen: Your agent is a Sue. Do not tell me to "go die" because I am right. She has a ridiculous name and is breaking the rules of PPC canon by working solo as 'because she was good at her job' is not a viable reason. The work agents do is dangerous and so they need at least two people working together in order to keep each other safe.
I commend you for attempting to use "big words", but as you seem to have no grasp on the proper spelling of smaller ones, it is strongly suggested that you aim to master them first before attempting to use what is clearly our of your league.
[[Because you're signed in with your 'real' Board name, so I don't know what false penname to save the review under. -Sedri]]
You are clearly unable to view your work objectively and therefore are beyond my help. I only hope that someday you realise how much help you actually need.
[[Me too, actually - both with the absurdly snobby "Honest Critic" and fanbrat "Lady Cyskia". On the other hand, it's scary how easily we can fall into bad typing habits. Killing, but easy. *shudder* -Sedri]]
YU NED HELP YOU HOAR!!!!!! UR JUST JELUS I BET YU CUDNT DO BETR!!!! HOAR!!!!
Your support is a boon in this troubled time. Also, let me take the moment to say that I am honoured by your gesture; you really didn't have to change your penname for me, though of course, this one is much better than before.
[[Anyone want to play "spot the quote"? ;p -Sedri]]
Hi I like to wite story and I like the PPPC. I luv PPC bishies so much they are hawt and can portal so then can come to me - PLZ DAFYDD COME VISIT ME UR HOT
I will try to write lots! ^_^
That was so hot and cute and sweet and the pool was awesome because nobody ever finds the pool usualy!! And yay for Cavan and Kelvin because I wrote a ficc about them last year too did you see it?
I don't understand some of the words ou use though like kawaii and ramen so what do they mean?? are they Japaneese because they look like it.
Please write MORE! ::::D
ramen is noodles and kawaii is cute. =^-^=
Yhey're cute words and I think i'll save them for in the future! ^_^
I tihnk its' nice how you showd us the proess of an agnet getting a ne partner. i dont tihnk Iv'e seen taht befor.
((Team Dafydd, eh? Dafydd wants to know if he gets his own flag. Constance wants a complete list of subscribers, including addresses and weaknesses. You know what she's like.
((Also, I will go on the record and say that seeing 'shipping wars on FfL would be awesome, whether Dafydd was involved or not. ~hS))
[[If FfL had a forum, it would be insane. I can just hear the screams... Ah, so harmonious. ;p ]]
But logically that would result in Bella/Dafydd, wouldn't it?
I'd say Constance would be most likely to kill you for that one. ^_^
~Neshomeh, cheerful.
That sucks so much him haveing a mean partner like Aiegis and I'm glad the Marqis let him change parnters because yeah she was a BICTH locking Enrtopy out like that! Please please pleaswe write more I wanna see who Logans nrew partner is!1!!
[[I'm totally going to join Team Dafydd if the issue comes up. XD Cassie.]]
[[I'm preparing all the entries in word documents so he'll have an easier time uploading them to the FfL website. I can fix the italics if you want; just temm me if there's anything (besides the dialogue) that needs to be italicised. Or you can just leave it, like Cassie did. Up to you.]]
It adds a certain Suvian je-ne-sais-quoi to the whole proceedings.
It seems unfair not to, considering that you (and Cassie) put an extra post up about the html. I think it's funny to leave them. :)
The premise is so great. That was such a bad cliffhanger!
dis chappie wuz gud 2!
This looks like a good story ith mystery and stuff and I hope you write more soon!
Why would a Flower be eating a doughnutt thogh? They can't eat can they? Anyway that's not really important but it just made me wonder.
You do the slanty stuf like THIS and but with no spaces okay? Hope that helps!
Twilight is STUPID and nobody would ever PPC for it ever because it sucks like your story! And it's so mean of you to have them burn ALL the FLowers up because there are some nice Flowers and they're just misnderstoood and you should be more understadning!
[[*pets* I know how you feel, Sedri hun. My inner Canon Lover cries every time this game rolls around... and my inner fanbrat squees dementedly. Have some chocolate.]]
its jus a stoyr so CHILLLLLLLL@~!!!!!!!
[[*munches* Same here. Usually, for the first few days, I have fun, and then as the game draws to a close I start longing for neat semi colons and spelling that doesn't make my eyes ache. Was it last year that we had a 'relief from the game' picnic thread, full of nothing but blue skies and good grammar? If this stops being stress relief and starts being stress-inducing, I may start another one... Anyway, cheers for the 'kind' review ;) -Sedri]]
[[I think the picnic was after the 2008 one, actually. But yes, that sounds like it'd be fun. Glod knows my fanbrat self is being super-bratty this year, all the flames she's throwing out. Maybe we could summon Agents into the picnic thread to entertain us by beating down on our fanbrats?]]
[[I think you're right. Perhaps tomorrow or the day after, we should start a thread? Or right now, if you feel like it.
[[And you're setting me off, you know; both my alter-egos are losing their tempers far more than they were last year - thank you :D -- Sedri]]
[[Wow, whatta hypocrite Ellie's being. XD But yeah, whenever you fancy I'll join. And that's how it works, isn't it? One fanbrat gets flamey and the others flare up in response. XD]]
[[Oh, hypocrisy is half the fun here ;) But yeah, I'd forgotten how intense the bratty flaming spats could get. This is quite fun.]]
teh peeple whu sayz taht this iz a bad storee r STUUPYD and meen and shuld go awayz! U rok!!1!
[[*hands over the bleepulan ale* And for something completely different, an awesome video of Patrick Stewart on Sesame Street: click! --Pretzel]]
wanna b my bfffEVA?
[[*gulps - then pauses, giggles, and snorts* I'd never seen that vid before! Very funny - "Make it SO, Number One!" :D Thank you - and for the drink. I needed it. Care to share? -Sedri]]
I think the Marqis and the So are underappreciated really and that's what makes them so mean sometimes but this story's good because if they were really mean and stuff then they would deserve this!
I would have been sooooo scared if an Agnet came at me with a flmaethrower but Ian and Lee were so brave to stop him! Please write more because it is soo cool to see other Flowers beign the Heroes.
grate job!!1! i lyked how u had ian and lee save teh day and stuffs. thnx 4 the shoutout! I luvs u so much!!!
[[Heh. Thanks for the awesomeness. *hands you a congratulatory cookie w/ bleepolate chips in it* -Pretzel]]
I honestly gave myself a headache writing this badly, and yet it is still fun. *shakes head*
de poor daisys got no deprtment of its(/his/her/what IZ it anyways?) ownn! ur so nice makin it king & not namin hte badfic soo 2 nt hut ny1s feelinss!!!!!
I mean okay maybe not everything's perfect with the PPC and all but handign it over to the AGEnts? that's a bit much isn't it?
But in chapters three through twenty-five I intend to explore that very issue, in as much depth and detail as possible. I hope it satisfies.
Teh Sunfolwer is evul1 He is abad Plant and must be deafeted! U write bad becuz taht is not how teh Sunflwoer wood act!
Your spelling and grammar are also appalling. Someday you will learn that no one in this world will ever take you seriously unless you present your writing neatly, following the rules of grammar. For the record, I have never seen anyone mistake "wood" for "would" before - and I have seen a lot. You have the dubious honour of being the first to make such an awful mistake.
[[Oh, gods, HC has become a impossibly arrogant little snob. Worse than last year. I sincerely apologise for her behaviour. -Sedri]]
Ur jest a meen persun and liek beeing meen! I can;t halp it if i spel bad! I'm dyslecksik and I'm not a naituve speeker and my dog jest dyed! I wuz triing to bee nice & give U revues becuz ur storry is soo bad, I thout that know1 wood give u revues and u wood feal bad. don;t wurry I won;t bee nice two U nomore!
I am a very nice person; why else would I put so much time and effort into educating others?
Also, while I am sorry that your dog has died and extend my sympathies, if I were to accept such sentimentality as an excuse for inherently poor grammar and spelling (it's "died", by the way, not "dyed"), then all someone would have to do to avoid neat presentation and lie about such things as, say, their dog's recent demise - don't you agree?
(maturity in action ;)
I am trying to correct my grammar because of your work.
I am pleased to see that SOMEONE has learned from my example. I appreciate your review.
I'd absolutely love to see someone write something about Ian and/or Lee. If this doesn't follow the rules of the event, then please, by all means, disregard this post. I'm just kind of curious as to how someone might totally mess them up. *evil grin*
Well, you can ask, of course, but that doesn't mean anyone will take you up on it - I might, if I'd read enough of your missions to know about them. (Generally people just shake things out of their sleeves, and many of us just write about our own agents. Is there any reason you don't want to write Ian/Lee badfic yourself?)
Either way, it doesn't break any rules to ask :)
I don't know; maybe I'm just a bit chicken like that and don't want to "ruin" my characters, even though I know that it'll have no bearing on them. *shrugs* I'm weird like that.
Ur surch a good ritter!!!1 cnat wait 2 here moar bout tehh poolz
u know wAt would be liek totally awesum is 4 there to b a pool parteh and all teh hott agnets and elfs waz there!!!! Omg dat would be gr8
VerIdieNn3!!
((Yeesh, writing badfic is even harder on my iPhone cause it auto-corrects my spelling- at least at first!))
You MUST be joking. Sparkly unicorns? That is beyond childish, particularly given the cliches involved. Were you TRYING to burn my eyes? "Ajent"? Good grief, you are an idiot. That, or a monkey pounding on a keyboard. No, I take it back - a monkey wouldn't produce such low-quality drivel. Get back to school, child, and listen to your English teacher. That is, if you haven't already been expelled.
[[Heh, don't worry, Pretzel - last year I spent three hours feeling like I ought to scrub with steel wool. We feel your pain. Here, have some Bleepuvian ale. - Sedri]]
Ur storry is teh gr8test evur! Don;t lissen to those meenies. Ur Suli is not a MAry SUe!!!11!
Keep wrighting. I can;t w8 to C whut hapens!!!
Promising premise. Apart from the spelling, I like it.
I hope they find the pool soon and I'm so glad Suli rescued Puffiekinz from that bad story! You might want to watch it with the sparkly perfect-ness though because tht is the sort of stuff that makes MarySues. I'm not saying your story's bad because it isn't and I really want to see more but just thought i'd give you a bit of helpful commentry.
Im so glad that the So acepts them, but i feel like im gonna faint!1 How could u leacve us on a cliffie lyk that? evil! hahah jk jk.
elli is SO BRave that sue had better wathc her sparkly butt. i ryly hop she saves the maruqis! i dont want 2 think of whatt she might do if he dyed.
Is this nice enugh??? plz say yes! update update update!
of course Elli is brave because she's in LOVE. And don't worry the Marqis won't die... but I won't say any more there bcause thatd be giving away the ending hehehe! And of course the SO acepts them because he's gonna find Jaycacia later on (because this is set before she came along of course).
And yes yes yes this is such a nice review and you're so nice that I promise I'll update soon!Cliffies are just sooo much fun! :D
Canon Queen has several excellent points and if you would simply follow her instructions rather than throwing a tantrum worthy of a five-year-old, your writing may, someday, actually become worth the time it takes to read.
Canon Queen, I thank you for your honesty and applaud you for taking on such childish opponents as this.
Youre just trying to make it look like youre ganging up on me to make me not want to write any more well SCREW YOU and your stupid sockpuppets because I'm going to keep writing ANYWAY!!1! ANd I'm NOT CHILDISH just because I get upset that people are BULLYING me! Go AWAY before I report you for FLAMING!
If you would take a mere five minutes to compare my stories with those of Canon Queen you would see that our writing styles are very different; therefore, we cannot possibly be the same person.
Also, this is not bullying. This is an attempt to save your story. I, at least, thought you might appreciate that. Clearly, I was wrong.
EW!!!! u made a GRL sleep w/aFLOWERT? EEWEwwwwwEWEWEW
i mean its kinda cute &all w/dem being ssoooo romantic but relly leafs&petals R just EWW. cant u jus make hium jhUman???!?!
He wouldnt be the Marqis if he was HUMAN would he stupid? It's not like I'm goign to write smut or anything (because okay even I think that would be wierd and its only JayBird who can do that well with her Jaycacia storys and all) so its okay if they're just in love!
I pronise I won't show them sleeping together okay?
& im not stoopid so ther
But whatever just stop arguing with me and I'll forget you were moody.
And if not, are there any italicised sections other than the SO's dialogue in the last section?
By reading this profile you have given me temporary control of your mind.
Your support is much appreciated.
[[Do you want the hacked profile to appear on FfL, or just the main part? I'd suggest the latter. Also, I love your summary of Honest Critic; so very, very accurate ;) -Sedri]]
But have HC overlook it in her excitement at another show of support.
Hapy endins R SOOOO gr8!
Even though the rest of the Multiverse is dead from fallen rocks and the PPC is gone, it's all okay as they're together.
[[Has your badfic-writer persona changed their penname from "Burning Watier" to "Burning Visionary"? Because I'm not sure what name to file these under...]]
Missed it. Ignore this.
I promised hS I'd keep track of everything so he can update FfL more easily later. I'm sending him everything in word documents organised by badfic penname and story title, and since I don't recall either the fic or what handle you went by last time, mind giving them to me?
Damnit, why do I never have any time on my hands? When does this finish, anyway?
~Silikat the rubbish-at-dates-and-maths-so-there
I'll put in the second chapter of EPC: Gehenna, then.
"On the ground were the faint marks of Jay's and the SO's feet (A/N: Or should that be roots?), leading off into the forest."
Honestly, of COURSE it should be "roots". The Sunflower Official doesn't have feet. What do you think - that just because the Flowers wear suits and work in offices they suddenly become mammalian? Actually, forget that - it's too ridiculous a concept to apply logic to in the first place.
Nononoinononeo you CNT TO DTHAT! ickyicky blood &ew &jaycacias gonnaD IE cuz shes gona fall of da CLIFFI!
Is the Weaver from Werewolf the Apoclipse? I can't afford that game, but the idea rocks! Maybe Jayacacia is Gaia.
Whats going to happen to Jaycacia and Jay and the SO?! They cant get HURT! Pleeeeeeaaaaase post teh next chaptr soon I cant wait to see what hapenns! And whats the Weaver? It had better not hurt them or Ill send ppl to GET it!
The opportunity to rape the PPC style of things intentionally sounds really, really tempting for me because I can do it with minimal effort. Just imagine what I could do if I tried.
Too bad I can't write poorly, either. The only thing I can consider putting in this is too well written to be badfic in my opinion, yet it's so against the PPC's spirit that it could be used...
Curse me and my tendency to take everything seriously.
It is a little-known fact that even stories with perfect spelling, grammar, and punctuation can be badfic. For example: The Respectful Tale of Canon Correction by Honest Critic.
So go for it! Get it out of your system!
~Neshomeh, taking brandywine_baby89 out of storage once again. Muahaha...
I think I'll do a second chapter for this year. And yeah, Max, it's badfic - it's too polished and there's no depth to the characters, and it's entirely OOC. Honest Critic is a snob. Go ahead and write something like that :)
Will Five of Six recive a Karmic Death soon? That would be cool.
PS: Will you join Honest Critic's petition for better Grammar and Spelling? You seem like a coherent writer.
Vera iz soooooo liucke! eysz lik roubies & saffires & ooohohh plz let dem gt 2getr!
alkEC IS EEEEEVIL8SHOUD DIE FGREASE SPT AHAH HE SHLD HVE 2 CLN DA GREESE HMSLEF!
This is a game where we write PPC Badfic? And we don't need permission(Well, according to the wiki, Permission is one of the strategies employed to avoid PPC badfic so, it would be a contradiction if it was required)?
So I could create a Sue!Agent? That's awesome... I'm definitely writing something there...
This is a game we play every year - partly for laughs, partly for stress relief, and partially to drive ourselves crazy. It's great fun. :)
We. Are. Doomed.
Although it could lead to some exceptionally amusing opportunities in missions... when the Word World is mucking around with HQ itself, fun things happen.
Methinks that the department which definitely does not exist will not be very busy at all, since it doesn't exist, but if it did it certainly would be.
If that department existed (which is obviously not the case, I guess) it wouldn't be busy because of the creativity shield around FanFictionLand...
Why on earth don't we use it on the Pit, then? I mean, if we only took care of the HP and LotR sections (and maybe some of the worse anime continua), we'd be ten times better off.
...we have no control over the Pit.
I should have realized that. >.> Excuse my oversight.
If we could, life wouldn't be the same. Most PPC missions come from FF.net fics...
It's something of an Eagle situation, I guess. We'd have nothing to do if we did, therefore we don't.