Subject: Ticket to Ride
Author:
Posted on: 2016-09-20 22:25:00 UTC

Summary: A Sue who should not exist anymore teams up with the Department of Inaccuracies to right a wrong.
Genre: Serious Business
Rating: T, I suppose.

DISCLAIMER: I still don’t own the PPC, it belongs to the legendary agents Jay and Acacia. Nor do I own Androiaavata’s home continuum World of Warcraft, which is property of Blizzard Entertainment. The Harry Potter series of books was created by the magnificent Joanne K. Rowling. The Labyrinth probably doesn’t need to be disclaimed here because it isn’t actually involved. The Making of a Queen belongs to Artemis Samhain, who may kindly keep it. It was sporked by EileenAlphabet and you should go and read this, because it’s good although it’s not free of errors (and I siriusly don’t intend to recap this monster of a mission report). The agents in the Department of Inaccuracies are mine.

Author’s Notes:
I subdued last year’s little rebellion; Androia knows her place again. Since you gave me more than the requested number of reviews, this is all your fault.
Many thanks to my beta reader ElenaAlgebra for the valuable suggestions I mostly ignored. All residual errors are obviously mine.


Prologue

The music was soft and mellow, almost seductive, as it had always been. Her dress was dark black like her hair, the tight bodice held by spaghetti straps fitting her lustrous curves, the wide skirt swinging free as she whirled around and around. All the other dancers, in their costumes made of damask, silk and satin, hid their faces behind masks; they didn’t matter. There was only One who counted, the handsome immortal who held her tightly in his arms and spun her around, until the daydream ended abruptly when he steered her into a wall.

Actually, the obstacle was a door set into one of the walls of the endless grey corridors. Sarah shook her head to clear her mind and glanced at the number on the door, comparing it to the first number scribbled onto the sheet of paper in her hand. Apparently she had got good advice. Just don’t pay attention while you walk, and you will arrive where you need to be. And yes, here she was, and she didn’t bother to knock. How could she be expected to be polite after all they had done to her?

A pink-coloured human-shaped flash crossed the room at amazing speed and disappeared behind a door when Sarah entered RC #1953. The elderly man who had been left behind glared at Sarah. "What’s your business here?" he asked savagely.

Sarah countered the man’s fury with an icy tone. "Is this the Department of Inaccuracies?"

"Why would you assume that such a Department even exists?"

"Because the – entity at the help desk said this would be the place to take my complaints to. I have been unjustly charged by employees of your organization, and my story has been misrepresented in their mission report. What do you intend to do about this?"

The man’s mood appeared to lift immediately. He took some sort of device out of a drawer and pointed it at Sarah. It looked like a sort of pocket calculator. Sarah could not see the display.

[Sarah Aithne Rhiannon Williams. Half-witch/half-Fae female OC, known to be ’such a calm, collected girl, who always had good timing’. Not!Labyrinth x Harry Potter. Undead Sue. Out of Character 50.38%.]

I frowned at the display. 50.38% is barely enough for a badfic. Maybe we should throw in some bad role-play and unwanted innuendo. Fortunately, Sarah had already given us a head-start. Good timing indeed.

The man frowned, shrugged and then drew his face into a malicious grin as he started to take more devices out of the drawer and stuff them into his pockets. "Androia," he shouted, "bring the quill patches! It’s one of those missions again." He turned to Sarah. "Do you have the exact coordinates on your paper there?"

Since she couldn’t get to her uniform while the stranger was there, Androiaavata had slipped into her old novice gown. Hearing her master’s voice, she hefted the appropriate flash patch onto her left shoulder and returned to the RC’s main room, just in time to hear the stranger talk. "To gather the evidence, we first need to go to ISBN-9780747573609/66-29".

"But this is a canon destination," said the non-human girl who had just re-entered the room. She was now wearing a long blue gown with a quill dropping red ink on the left shoulder, and Sarah wondered what species she might be. Her ears would have been far too long and pointy even for a Fae, reaching up above her head, and the pink of her face was too bright even for the given situation.

"No disguises then," decided the man. "The canon characters can't see us anyway." Meanwhile, the girl whose name was apparently Androia, had typed on several keys at a thing that looked like a computer console, and a blue-gleaming rectangle had appeared in mid-air. "Ladies first," said the man with a little bow. With an irritable frown, Sarah stepped through the portal. The two agents followed and arrived on a platform at Paddington station just in time to watch a giant man and a small boy approaching a train.

Hagrid helped Harry on to the train that would carry him back to the Dursley’s, then handed him an envelope.

"Here it comes," hissed Sarah. "Pay attention!"

‘Yer ticket fer Hogwarts’, he said. ‘First o’ September – King’s Cross – it’s all on yer ticket.’

Sarah jumped excitedly. "There, have you seen it? Now we can go to my story. The coordinates are FFN 1711100..."

I rip the paper out of her hand, take the remote activator out of my pocket and type in the coordinates I memorized so long ago. This is going to be fun.

"Wait," says Androia. "Are there any original characters in this story? They will see us. Did you bring a Dorks?"

Insubordination again? Implying that I forgot important equipment? Or a legitimate concern? I glare at her. "I’ve got something better than the D.O.R.K.S." And I whip out the Invisibility Cloak.

(To be continued)

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