EVERYDOBY RUNA ROUN D AND SCREAM AND SHOTU FOR GLORSIOU GLORY!

((AAAAAAAAA I SAW IT COMING BUT I'M STILL EXCITED))

A/n: HI! I'm taking over the story and i promise it's gonna be awesome. I'm just taking over where DiskWater (hi babe!!) left off and I'm gonna keep what she wrote of course but I'm also putting my own twist on it!! Hope you like it!!!

Right, so this chapters in third person because it's different characters but keep am eye out for the end ;) don't worry there's lots of first person (aka or favorite pov characters!!!) coming up. This chapters different to set the scene but yeah just read to the end! Can't wait to write more!!! And of course……… Don't forget to review!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 4

The Guarddsman was lying down, trying to recover from his stomach wound. He had put the bloodstained cards away by now, and was vaguely thinking about getting the watch out...but nah. He kind of wanted a sandwich, and, well, tht was more important. So he got up and hobbled toward the kitchen.

He didn’t really feel bad that Gaspard had had to go interview Tacitus Dives in his stead, because, really, the lad could stand to get out a bit more. And anyway, the Guardsman hated dealing with Dives. They never had gotten along, and he always felt the young CEO was hiding something…

Anyway. Sandwich.

*********
In another part of HQ the Aviator was looking at her couch and frowning. It wasn’t like the couch had anything wrong with it; the real problem was that she wanted to sit down, but--and this was the important part--the couch was already taken. By her partner as his girlfriend.

They were cuddling (because Zeb was a cuddly sort and Dawn was very into cuddling) and it was really very cute (a/n THEYRE SO PERFECT TOGTHER IXIMAZ AND DAWNFIRE IF UR READING THIS TAKE NOTES) but the Aviator also really, really wanted to sit down…

She was about to say something, but then Zeb activated the disguise generator and turned into a human. He gave Dawn a slightly nervous smile; Dawn smiled back, and leaned in to kiss him.

The Aviator made a face and went into her TARDIS. She might as well; her eyes and mind would be saved, and there was the Gala to get ready for, after all…

*****
He really should call his sister, the Guardsman thought. She’d been bugging him about getting ready in time for the Gala that was coming up, asking who he was going to take along as a date. He’d been thinking maybe Naya; he didn’t like her like that, or anything, but it was a lot easier than figuring out who else he could go with. And besides, Naya was great. She was sarcastic, funny, and...well, he had no idea what she looked like, but that was fine. It’d work.

And maybe taking her would finally prompt his sister into making a movel…

~FLASHBACK~~

(okay so this is basically based on Cale Seche, because that should have gone so differently seriously. What were they thinking?! It would’ve been so much better like this!!))

The Reader scrambled to her feet when she felt a familiar presence approach her and Rina. Could it be—?

No. No, her brother was long gone. Her mind must be playing tricks on her.

And then three people rounded the corner and she froze.

“E-Emiranlanoamar?”

The tall black man stopped walking and blinked at her. “Xandria? The Reader--that’s you?”

The quarian beside him frowned, not that anyone could tell. “Who’s Xandria?”

“I am.” The Reader took a hesitant stepp forward, her eyes fixed on the Guardsman. “Emiran...I thought you were dead. Permanently so.”

“What about you?” The Guardsman waved the hand that wasn’t holding something. “You left the Academy and just vanished. Papa said you’d argued—”

“We did, but that’s not important.” The Reader took another step, beginning to tear up. “Emiran...Emiran, you’re alive.”

“And you didn’t call.” The Guardsman put his toolbox down with a thud and crossed his arms. “Why didn’t you call, Xandria?”

The Reader blinked at him, and wiped away a tear. “I was a little busy, Emiranlanoamar.”

The Guardsman gave her his best sad face. “I was lonely, Xandria. I had no one to talk to, and none of our other siblings were even still around except for Bibi, and you know what she’s like--all work, no fun—”

He was cut off by a hug from his sister: the first in centuries (or millennia, depending on the personal timestream). “Shut up, Emiran. Just shut up and hug me for once.”

Emiran blinked away his own tears and obeyed, hugging her tightly.

It's alright, he told her mind-to-mind. We're all safe now. It's going to be alright.

*****
They found out later that Bibi--the oldest, originally--had stayed on Gallifrey and might actually be dead. But everyone else had made it to HQ long before they did, and there were many reunions to attend. Of course, some of their siblins were a bit full of themselves, but they were always that way (except for the Notary) so Emiran and the Reader didn’t mind. The Reader was also the baby of the family, even before the Time War and everyone going traveling, so everyone was glad to see her. There were many hugs, some tears, and even the Notary clung to her fit a little while before she went back to bring herself--but everyone knew she cared.

END FLASHBAT!!

Esclava House, New Caledonia, at 08:13 on Friday the 13yh of September 2016 HST

Madam Penny had been in already to tell me that breakfast was served (and once more to say it was getting cold--she left in a hurry after I glared at her) but I couldn't stop pacing, couldn't get him out of my mind. That boy. Gaspard. I wanted him. Bad.

I shook the thought away, but it came right back, the way it kept doing all night. I couldn't concentrate. It was going to drive me--

I shook my head again. Think, Tacitus. Put your brilliant mind to use for once. I had to see him again, but how to arrange it…

I need to see him. Need to see if I can find out what he looks like wrapped in a fancy silk robe--dark, maybe dark blue--and sitting on my bed. I need--

It hit me suddenly. The Gala! If I could get him to the gala I could see him. He'd even be dressed up--

I smacked those thoughts away. How to get him to the Gala… there has to be a way. Had to be a way to get him there so I can impress him even more, and maybe get him where I've been wanting him since about two seconds after he literally feel into my office.

I'll figure it out. I'm not Tacitus Dives, heir to a fortune and self-made man of mystery for nothing.

Maybe my sister can help.

Maybe. Maybe she knows a connection that I don't.

I nodded: it's settled. I took out my portable console and sent s message directly to Harris my second in command. Contact the PI (privatate investigator). Tell him to start looking into a Gaspard de Grasse. And get me an appointment with my sister.

Harris' reply came almost immediately. He's a good assistant. Straight, and sometimes a bit unreliable and accident prone, but he's worth putting up with. second bits going to be tough. are you sure you want to see her? last time didnt go will.

For a moment I went into my other form, so I could snarl soundlessly with greater effect. Then I changed back and wrote: I'm sue. Get it done, Harris! PS: you meant ‘well’, I'm sure. This is why we need the new spell checker I've got R&D (research and development) working on right now: it'll catch more errors than anything else available. It'll make agents’ jobs easier!

He wrote back: you dont need to sell me on it tacitus. im running the project. haha!

I shook my head and finally went to eat breakfast. That Harris. Maybe I should look for a replacement--someone who didn't disrespect me…

No. They'd take too long to train, and Harris almost always followed through. It wasn't worth the energy it would take to replace him.

I looked down at my breakfast: bacon and eggs with a side of Sour Poffins. For a moment I was reminded of my ex--sweet creature, that one, my very first--but I shook the thought away and began to eat. I'd need my strength--especially if Harris made the meeting with my sister for today.

Wouldn't that be a breeze.

It's so cool getting to see these characters in my favorite book! Its such a good idea. . . I wish I'd thought of it *pout* They're such cool characters, too. And the fox bit?! Is Tacitus a kitsune?! that would explain why he's so freaking cool ^.^ super looking forward to the nxt chapter!!!

Woohoo I love poke-shipping! And shipping in general I just like reading relationships and seeing there developement.

Lookin forward to the next chapter, hope the geth gets to joyn in on the funz ;)

Who is this Miss Steele who szddenly pops up? Otherwise, its a really good story do far.

This is amazing! More! I can't wait for the next chapter! Please, please, pretty please, more!

This is probably the best-spelled parody story about a human and a mute Zorua I'll ever read. Also, I don't think anyone's ever typed that sentence before, so bonus points for that. XD

...Seriously, this is a parody, right? I mean, I'm all for inclusivity and non-hetero relationships, but at this point the title has some connotations I really don't like thinking about when one of the main characters isn't human.

Anyway, nice writing, the idea of the Inner Monologue being vaguely separate is cool, you do you, have a great day. :)

but flauwed.
Mi prublem was taht the socks werre tooo dirty! How acn i relatete wit a caracter with dirty socks?

Berry goot, overwise (Monologue is soooo hotttt!!!!)

TDLRDT, clean ur socks.

It works for me. But, if it's not working for you guys, let's try this again.

((CHeck the sharing settings?))

First off, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS! I luv you and your faces! Here's more story! Oh, and there might be shipping in the future! ( ^_~ )

~~~~~~~~~~~

The walk was helping, but only a little. Cornelius still felt something digging at him in the very back of his mind.

The murmur of quiet conversation and the mingled smells of what was arguably food told him he was near the Cafeteria. He would not normally have given this much mind, but a lingering gurgle from his stomach suddenly reminded him that he had not actually had any coffee before leaving the response center. Cafeteria coffee, while not ideal, could be an acceptable temporary substitute.

He walked inside and made a beeline for the coffee machine. The liquid it dispensed was only a few steps above tar, but that was irrelevant. It was caffeinated, it was hot, and it was here. The snobbery could wait until he was back home.

Cornelius scanned the room as he sipped at his cup. His gaze stopped on a familiar figure sitting ramrod straight at one of the side tables. She was clothed all in black and appeared vaguely Asian. It was hard to tell due to the jawline-length bob obscuring part of her face, but it looked like her eyes were closed.

He wandered over. Maybe talking with someone else would help with this strange funk he was in. “Good morning, Xeleppeon,” he said as soon as he was within acceptable conversation range. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Xeleppeon opened her eyes at the sound of Cornelius’ hail. Her expression did not shift from its normal neutral state as she looked over, but she did nod. “Hello, Cornelius,” she said. “My partner and I have only just returned from several missions in a row and are, unfortunately, too tired to cook properly. We would not have otherwise come here.”

She shifted in her seat. Cornelius could now see the dark circles under her eyes. “And you?” the Nobody asked. “What brings you here?”

“I forgot to get some coffee before going out for a walk.” He took a sip as to underline his point, and was able to prevent a sour expression from crossing his face. “Needed to clear my head. Something just felt weird when I woke up this morning.”

“In what way do you mean weird?”

“Well–”

“BREAKFAAAST!” someone exclaimed from about a foot behind Cornelius. Before he could react, a pale and lanky woman darted out from behind him and plopped two plates of greasy breakfast food on the table. “Aren’t I the best, Xelly?”

Xeleppeon rolled her eyes. “That is a point always up for debate when it comes to you, Bluescreen,” she replied. “For example, Agent Cornelius might disagree with your statement considering you just interrupted him.”

Bluescreen turned on her heel and gave Cornelius a puzzled look, as if she had only just noticed him. Recognition dawned on her face. “Cornelius, right! I remember now. My bad, by the way.” She flicked her blue-dyed bangs out of her eyes and offered her hand for a conciliatory handshake.

“Not a problem,” Cornelius said as he shook her hand.

Bluescreen sat down next to Xeleppeon, towering over the Nobody by almost a foot. “So what were you guys talking about?”

“It’s nothing. I’ve… I’ve just been having this strange feeling ever since I woke up. Like something’s not right with the world. It could be stress I suppose, but… yeah, I don’t know.”

Xeleppeon tapped the tips of her tented fingers together. “Could it be due to a canonical shift?”

“That's what I was thinking,” Bluescreen said through a mouthful of scrambled eggs. She thankfully swallowed before continuing her thought. “I get headaches and vertigo whenever DC makes a major change to their canon. Doesn’t even matter that they’re not changing my specific universe. It’s like ripples in a pond, or something.”

Cornelius shook his head. “I come from World One. It can’t be a canon thing.”

The two female agents exchanged a glance. “Then my best bet would be stress,” Xeleppeon said. “A general malaise, possibly from too many missions.”

“It happens to everyone eventually,” Bluescreen added. “My advice? See if you can wrangle a vacation out of whoever it is that’s running the DIAU. Take some time to clear your head.” She picked up a piece of bacon with her fingers and took a bite out of it. “In case that doesn’t work, which is pretty likely, I would recommend getting drunk.”

There was a small sigh from her partner. “You are a veritable font of wisdom.”

“I do what I can.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And haS An intriguing story to tell. I cant wair to read more!

((Sorry, don’t have the time to flame the other writers individually.))

What new nonsense is this? I was about to lambast the other fic as any decenet person would do when faced with an abomination but might as well do a two-in-one by attacking this godawful and blatant plagiarisation and the parent fic which spawned it.

Let's go through the list, shall we?

-Bad Spaghetti
-Randumb capitalization
-General stupidity
-Singing
-The existence of this thing

And in you're case:

-Ctrl+F+Replace


100^(-1) / 100. I don't know why I spend my time reviewing this.

This is just like Void21194's fic! You can't do that! That's copying! You can't do that! Meanie!

((It's the Badfic Games. If there's badfic that does it, you can too, so I'd say you're golden.))

So crazy! So good! Love it, love it, love it! Keep going! And maybe give us some details on what Valon and Kala are doing, eh?

((... Fanficcer!Me, learn the art of taking your lust and shooting it in the face over and over and over until it's dead. I don't care if it's like a certain evil, white and pink, creepy cat we all know and hate and always comes back. Kill it anyways.))

PERFECT, 10/10 FOR GRACE AND ELEGANCE, WOULD BANG!

You're a villain! You're not allowed to save anybody! We all hate you! Bad! I'll make you go crazy! I'm spitting on paperwork right now, you hear? I'm chopping red tape into tiny bits! I'm... I'm calling you Notes.
That's right. The very nickname you hate the most. Notes. Notes. Notes, Notes, Notes, Notes, Notes, Notes, Notes. Perish.

((I'm sorry! But... well... characterization? Eh heh, eh heh, eh heh... Okay I'll leave now.))

That's so cool! I can't wait to see how she saves the PPC! :D

((OOC: Seriously, well done. I particularly enjoyed Acacia's "we need you to save OOC!"))

but i thinku thatt it neds mor foccusss on boiled cabbage - ther simplyy wasnt enuf boiled cabbage 2 make this stor-e as perfct as itcould be.

TLDRDR: ad mor boilt cabbage.

iM not suer who its' abut thoguh? is itt Jaycacia? it srot of sounds' liek Jaycacia wiht the tees adn magick asn all. i mene Jaycacia'd mine byt its' ok yu cann borow here!

Is there going to be a part 2? You left a lot of stuff unexplained, but I like where (I think) this is going. *runs off to google the new words*

Another year, another offering of absolute literary garbage before my eyes. Its a little tiring to see, really.

So, what do we have here? A long srting of words that are clearly evidence that you're time is spent between looking up words in the thesaurus and trying to imagine what 'cool' is like. Unfortubately, you fail horribly at both.

You're capitalization is off, you're prose is denser than a uranium brick, and I have no idea what is even going on in this story.

0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001/10, get off the internet, kid.

--

((I am so sorry.))

I clicked on this dreading a horror in the school of "Cloud Mows the Lawn," but thank god, it's only inane, and actually in a so-dumb-it's-funny kind of way. I'm not sure if that makes you a great troll or a terrible one.

Let's make no mistake, though, you're definitely a troll.

--Lemony

Illllllllren boght the milk and said 'why joly good, cheerios for this fin'e bevrage, i looketh foreward 2 ingeasting it trough yousage of mi human digestyve system, beygining with my mouth.'
When, suddenly, gmary sue appeared!

'mari sew!' Ill11lrehn screched, shockd like a man wit a brokn electrikal sistem instead ob a spine (very dangrus, don't do this!)

'Ilran! I see you-'

'My namel is Illlren!' ollraen hoofed (lik huffing but HE HAS HOOFS XP)

'Really? Oh, I didn't - I didn't realise. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

'It's okay, really.'

'No, it's not, that was really unfair of me, and I promise - I promise it won't happen again.'

'No, really, it's fine, seriously.'

'Thank you. That means a lot.'

'Seriously, Mary. It's okay.'

But mayr sue sighed, shure of herself inside taht it wasn't.
'I kidnarped OFUM!' she yelled lik am ex-boyfrend in an alliyway and u have a knif and he has no fone or escape root. She tok out a picture of OFUM tyed up 2 chair (PPC was tieed up too in backgrond, but dis weren't souprisin - illaren knew this)

'not OrfUM!' 11raen exclammed (lik exclaiming, but HES A CLAM XP)

'yes, OFUM!'

'NO!'

'yes!'

'nO!'

'Yes!'

Ilareen cursed her surprerior diplomatic skilles, considering surrander.
'are the ropes losse enouf for comfrort?'

'No!' maeiry soup no-d.

'Nnooooooooooooooooooooo!!!'
Ilarrrrrrrrrrrrrren screemeed, engaging barttle statins. will he bet her an save PPC an OFUM?

MOUSEE REVIEW TOOO FIND-OUT

no flams pls, i am drenchd in petrol an i migt cattch fire :(

Did you wake up this morning and rub you're face all over the keyboard? Its the only explanation I can think of for the raisain d'etre for this abomination unto mankind.

Your probably the worst story out of the bunch on this website. I give you i/10 because any value this story has is purely imaginary.

--

((Note to self: use the i/10 joke more often in real life.))

Tell us what happens! Show us what goes on in that mind of yours! I can't wait to see what the Marquis does to her. Winks.

Like, OH EMM GEE!! Finally a fik for my fav girl, LUXRUY!

shes so amazing i even chose a name like hers!1!

You should, like, totally make a NFWF version for teh lewd details! XDXD

Zero content. If your going to write a story, don't slap three sentnences together and expect you're readers to be happy with that,

losthopeforhumanity/10.

Get good, son.

*slow clap*

The person at the door turned out to be Minerva McGonagall. The agents hid in a room as Sarah passed them to go downstairs, then crept out and watched the action from the top of the stairs.

Undead!Sarah and the Correctors, well hidden under the Invisibility Cloak that miraculously fitted all three of them, watched the Floaters, disguised as Gryffindor students, watching McGonagall and the Williams family discussing the revelation that Sarah is a witch. "This Sarah looks exactly like our visitor," whispers Androia, as if I wouldn’t notice this myself. But from standing so close to our Sue, I can tell that they certainly don’t smell alike. How did she get between us anyway? This was supposed to be cuddling time.

McGonagall proceeded to explain, that since the Headmaster wanted Sarah to start her training from the basics, she could be given a potion, called Reincarna, that would turn her into an eleven-year-old.
“Charge for inventing an non-canonical potion,” the female student said.

"That’s the Radioactive Moss Creature, also known as RMC," whispered the agent whose name is still unrevealed. "Keep this in mind for future reference. The boy is Mittens, apparently some sort of minor devil from some sort of hell."

"How do you know, master?" whispered Androiaavata back. "They do not look like a devil and a moss creature."

"Remember that I remember everything I’ve seen in the archives. I expected this mission coming to us since I arrived in the PPC." But there was this nagging doubt. Misrepresented the story? Should I have actually read the glaurunging thing, not just the mission report?

Meanwhile, McGonagall finished a monologue with something that might be called a sentence, although it didn’t end with a full stop. "If you decide to go through this the potion will be send, together with the things Miss Williams would need for her first year and a ticket for the Hogwarts Express"

“Again, heredity does not work that way, and since when do you need tickets for the Hogwarts Express?” the RMC asked.

"There it is," hissed Undead!Sarah. "Charge them!"

“… tickets for the Hogwarts Express,” Mittens repeated as he wrote the charges.

"They can’t blame me for Rowling never bringing it up again after chapter six," whined the undead Sue.

"So, should we hit them with the book you certainly brought with you, master?"

"Not yet. There’s no single point of intervention here. We have to watch more, and we need to get this [expletive not translated] note book."

Sensing her partner’s gloomy mood, Androiaavata decided to brush his ego a bit more, lest his anger might fall back unto her. "Please enlighten me, master. If everything Miss Williams needs will be send to her, does she ever visit Diagon Alley? Should she be charged for not being chosen by her wand?"

"Doesn’t matter. We aren’t here to add to a charge list that’s already ridiculously long."

"I hope you two aren’t trying to avoid taking any action by discussing technicalities," scolded Undead!Sarah.

The other Sarah was no longer in sight; apparently she had left short after McGonagall, and if she had gone upstairs to her room, Mittens and the RMC had somehow avoided to be seen by her. Androiaavata had been too distracted to know what exactly had happened, but now the Floaters were downstairs, neuralyzing the two adults and sending them back to their canon along with the baby, then they vanished through a portal. A sudden time distortion made the agents stumble, and they had to cling to Undead!Sarah. Ten days later she faced a mirror, holding a crystal vial containing a turquoise liquid.

The human, the night elf, and the undead Sue were thrown against the mirror, and the agents watched in horror as Undead!Sarah diffused through the Invisibility Cloak and melted with the mirror image that indisputably was hers as well as the other Sarah’s.

"For a new life" she muttered, raising the potion in solitary toast "Cheers"

"Now that’s a kind of mirror magic I didn’t expect," muttered the male agent, wrapping his arm around Androiaavata’s waist to steady her as the fic yanked them both six years forward into a compartment of the Hogwarts Express.

"I am glad that she is gone," whispered the night elf, unwrinkling her nose and giving in to the embrace. "This stench was unbearable." The human agent laid a finger on her lips to silence her. After all, the Sue, now two years older then she had been before she drank the Reincarna potion, was in the same compartment and there was nothing to distract her but dwelling in her own thoughts and memories and the dreams of a ballroom dance.

As soon as the Sue had fallen asleep, the male agent removed his finger from Androiaavata’s lips and fumbled for the remote activator and Undead!Sarah’s list of important information. "When she wakes up, we’re suddenly in a potions class," he murmured. "And I don’t intend to be yanked through all the [expletive not translated] flashbacks and elsewhere-scenes Mittens and the RMC had to watch. So, the Sue’s other complaint refers to FFN1711100-6/3/24. That’s about one third through the mission."

The agents stepped through the portal and arrived in the middle of a battle, or at least a duel. A Death Eater fell onto the floor of the Great Hall, felled by Sarah’s leg-locking curse, but still able to set an indeterminate number of non-canonical Deathstrike snakes on Sarah, using his snake-animagus parseltongue skills. Sarah conjured a ring of fire around her to ward of the snakes. The Death Eater quickly conjured a thunderstorm inside the Great Hall.

Thick, heavy rain soaked Sarah to the bone, making her robes, shirt, tie, socks and grey plaited skirt (things she wore under the robes… I've noticed that the School uniform is not reduced to black robes, including a white shirt and grey trousers/skirts and a tie with the House colours) stick to her skin as well as her long hair, that had freed itself from the remaining pins. The flames were quickly dying, much to the girl's horror and the snakes that hadn't been singed were ready to jump into action the moment the fire was out.

"Locking his tongue might have been more useful," commented Androiaavata. "Charge for in-fic and redundant author’s notes?"

"I told you already that we're not here to add to the charge list. Look out!"

The agent flung himself unto his partner and both landed in a mass of tangled limbs on the floor as a fireball hurtled over them. The deranged Invisibility Cloak did not hide them longer, but fortunately Mittens and the RMC, who had found a save and dry place from where to snark at the badfic, were too busy watching a touching scene (Sarah protecting the miraculously arrived house-elf Winky) being destroyed by the way Finian Bloodstone first cast a fireball from behind Sarah and then was jerked through the room like a puppet on invisible strings to cast another, undefined spell, this time standing in front of her. Sarah felt rather than saw the blood soak her attire, mixing with the wetness from the rain that had stopped moments ago.

While Sarah conjured an unbreakable crystal ball around Winky, and the Floaters wondered why she didn’t protect herself in the same way, the Death Eater muttered an enchantment to strengthen the magical barrier that kept Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley out of the Great Hall. Sarah hit the Death Eater with an uncanonical spell, and the barrier began to break, but Sarah was too weak from wounds and snake poison to defend herself any longer when the Death Eater recovered and casted the unforgivable killing curse. In the last possible moment, Ginny wished the Death Eater away, and Jareth the Goblin King returned into Sarah’s life.

Androiaavata and her partner, who had disentangled themselves and rearranged the Invisibility Cloak, creped out of the way as Saxo Cruore – no, Finian Bloodstone, he had not been recruited yet – was dragged to the Underworld. Having dealt with this, the Goblin King started to care for Sarah.

He seemed imposing even as he asked for help, the soaking girl tucked within his arms safely.
“Soaking?” the RMC asked. “When did she get wet?”
“He must have drooled on her some more, while we had our backs turned,” Mittens said.

"No, this Death Eater made it rain on her," whispered Androiaavata. The RMC did not hear her.

“Charge for making herself soaking, thereby creation horrible implications.”

“She should be taken to the Hospital Wing” Minerva McGonagall said with her usual no-nonsense tone of voice “Madam Promfrey will most likely be awake, don’t you think Albus?”

(To be continued)

Ze mine gai wont stop mi, jest bicoz Aim Frentch iznt a risone to tok to mi laik zis!

Richard end Marina are sent on e michion by ze bad Floouerz, hou haite Ajants. eunefortunételi, ze glitterbag zey ave to kill iz a bad troll, hou iz a bad writer on purepoz. it iz called Destroier, and it iz réli bad mini.

Leukili, Richard end Marina are ossome. Eu majic word f Marina méq ze mini euneibeul tou mouve, zen Richard shout hiz éd wiv hiz Evokeur for Perusona, bicoz hi nid it "Perusonah", hi sayz, and zen hiz ossome Perusona killz ze mini Troll.

((I began the accent thing as a spur of the moment thing, then continued because that was just too funny.))

Honestly, in the time it took you to spew out this complete drivel and for me to read it I coul'dve done something useful with my life. Give me my 3 minutes back.

1/10, because at least you tried but on second thought it really wasn't worth it.

--

((Realtalk through: the Suethor French!accent voice is genius and perfectly over-the-top. Please, more.))

A/N omg NOW REVIES?!?!?! i tihnk i myt STOP WRITTIN ALL TO GET HER now!!!!! oky hers the necks chappi!

Jaycacia was walking purposefully along the corridor when a voice behind her snarled, "Mary-Sue!"

Jaycacia whirled, her powers at the ready to destroy whichever Mary-Sue had been foolish enough to infiltrate PPC HQ. "Where?!"

In front of her (A/N onli now taht shes' turnd a rond!1) stood a woman dressed in white. She had a large collar and an angry face. "It is you!" she snarled, pointing three guns at Jaycacia. "You are the Mary-Sue!"

Jaycacia gasped. "But Avatar!" she explained (A/N YE she reconis her SHHJ yol'l see in a minuet). "I thought we were friends!"

The Avatar pointed another gun at her. "So did I," she snarled, "but that was before I learned that you are... a Mary-Sue!"

"But I'm not," Jaycacia said. "That must mean... you have been tricked!"

She stretched out her mind, drawing on all the powers she had been granted by a wandering Flower years ago + the training the Sunflower Official had given her + her memories of her time as the Moonflower. "Why, Avatar," she gasped, "I didn't know you were... pregnant!"

"Yes I am," the Avatar snarled, "and it is my mother's instinct that tells me you are a Mary-Sue." She pointed another gun at Jaycacia (A/N hoe manny is taht now lol). "Now I am going to kill you, you Sue."

"But don't you see?" Jaycacia pleaded. "That is just what the one controlling you wants you to do."

"Hah!" the Avatar snarled. "No-one is controlling me."

"But they are!" Jaycacia pointed dramatically at the Avatar. "I sense a darkness within you... a darkness that comes from your baby... a darkness that has a name..."

(A/N DUN DUN DUUUUUUH)

~

"I like this Avatar woman."

Jay rolled her eyes. "You would; she's got more weapons than you can shake a stick at. Also: don't recommend shaking a stick at her."

Acacia threw a pitted olive at her friend's head. "You know what I mean, though. She saw Jaycacia as a Sue! She's the first person to do that since... well, us."

"Mm." Jay reached over and plucked the olive bowl from Acacia's fingers. "These are good. But you've missed something."

Acacia looked back at the sheaf of papers. "Yeah?"

"Mm-yup." An olive bounced off the final lines. "The Avatar, whoever she is, is a character in a Jaycacia Thornbyrd story. Take it from me - by the end of this, she'll either be dead, or in bed with Jaycacia."

Acacia mulled this over. "... I hate it when you're right."

A/N Thanks to MidnightMariposa097 for their loves! I rote pt 3 for all yallses!

"Fiineee," wined Luxury "I guess sticking around won't hurt to much"

"Good" said Dr. McNinja

At this point Gandalf said "The hell are you doing man there's only 9 of us. Begone!" and he threw fireworks at him but Dr. Mcninja did a double backflip to dodge and threw shruikens at Gandalf.

"Noooooooo" yelled Legolas but at that time Harry Potter showd up. "Protego tibi" and the shruiken bounced off the shield spell.

Everyone was in awe. "I am the most powerful wizard in the world" Harry said brandishing the Eldar wand "And by the way I'm comming to. Let's leave Gandlaf behind all he does is abandon people partway through the story for no reason"

Gandalf shrugged. "I can't argue with that logic. Good luck." And the new 13-member Fellowship set off. Gimli had no comment whatsoever because more powerful people would offset the unluckfulnessity of the number 13.

i meen I tihnk Boromor is an argent in Teim Pheonicks, rihgt? But I tihnk you wrote Dotcor Fizzgerald wron a bit.

Aslo tehre arent' any palivios in HQ. I sotped reading tehre.

Or do you just sit around and demand free entertainment all the time?

--

((I am so sorry))

'Primal Reversion' is the most perfect name for the Badfic Games I've seen so far.

((I may need to rewrite the third part of the Department of Inaccuracies Trilogy into goodfic so that it can be archived in my upcoming spin-off. This, of course, means that the department will need to be made canonical. If agents wearing Octagonal Snowflake badges appear in the PPC, it’s your fault!

HG))

Okay, guys, I decided to write about the Aviator cause she’s pretty cool. Hope you guys like it, and please review!

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

The sue was the one from Bird Brain, and she was talking about the difference between orcs and goblins and stuff, and the Aviator had had just about enough of her stupidity.

“They are exactly the same!” the Aviator exploded, grateful for the distraction. Then she pondered “But are they in the movieverse, though?”

Zeb said nothing (AN/: because I hate the character and feel like excluding him, it’s a creative choice so just live with it okay?)

“Well, it’s never said that they’re not,” the Aviator said to herself. She was annoyed. She tilted her head and thought. “I’m going to attack the Sue now, and I don’t have to worry about charging her because everyone loves me!”

Suddenly, Davros appeared behind her, cackling maniacally. ‘Capture her, my pretties!’ he cryed, as the Daleks shot tendrils of electricity and bound her painfully between the two (AN: I know they don’t in Doctor Who but these do cause Davros made these special Daleks). As the Aviator cried out in pain, she screamed, ‘Why?”

“SCIENCE!!!!!” Davros stated menacingly, and began to apply the electrodes, still cackling with glee as the Aviator saw wings conveniently placed in the corner. “NO! YOU’re gonna do to me what you did with that Sue!”

“Yes,’ said Davros, “I will. And I will tell you why, it is because of my fetish for wings, and my queen must be a winged Timelord!”

“You mean you’re going to make me. . .” her eyes dialed in horror, “The QUEEN of the Dalleks?!!!” Davros cackled in agreement.

“I’ll never love you!” the Aviator threatened bravely.
“That is why I have also procreated the Doctor!!” stated Davros, as the Doctor stepped into the laboratory room. The Aviator could see him over the top of the tight leather suit Davros had put her in before taking her to the opposite end of the compound and bounding her to the cold metal table (A/N: sorry, forgot to write that, lol).

The tall blonde Tim Lorde stepped from the shady doorway, and the Aviator could tell he was one of those Dalek slaves from that one episode with Amy and Rory’s divorce cause he had a blue-glowing-eye sticking out from his forehead. He also had wings, which he fluttered. Ignoring Davros’s sudden blush, she was suddenly intreeged, not just by the hot Timelord, but also by a plan! She had an idea!

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Okay, guys- that’s the end of my first chapter! Word says its like 500 words long- WOW!!! Hope the next one doesn’t take so long to write. Everyone who reviews to let me know they liked my story is the best!

Wow so many people don't even know that country exists. It was a little surprising reading that.

A/N.: So, this is one of the ideas I had while looking up some funny music. I heard this song - HERE - and an image of the PPC sparked in my mind! You have to admit it's perfect! Don't forget to R&R - you'll get some fresh cookies!



Agent Nume (A/N.: Sorry, I'm gonna have to shorten his name - no way I'm gonna write it correctly every time) sits at one of the tables of the PPC Cafeteria. Several tables behind him there's a whole group of Agents (I'm talking The Aviator, Will GraY, Des, Dawn, Valon, whoever-else-you-want there, etc.) discussing him. Finally, when he can't hear them, Charlotte points at him:

There! Right There!
Look at that tan well-tended skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.
Oh please, he's gay, totally gay.

The Librarian looks closer at Nume, as he's next:

I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate a totally straight expatriate.
This guy's not gay, I say, not gay.

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)

That is the elephant in the room.
Well, is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically radically fey?

(WILLIAM GRAY)
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.

(CHARLOTTE)
Look at his silk translucent socks.

(THE LIBRARIAN)
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seein'

[Charlotte tilts her head.] What are we seein'?

Is he gay? [Charlotte mouths: Of course he's gay!]
Or European?

[Everyone "OOOOH"s]

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?

Everyone looks at Zeb, who only shrugs, "Well, hey, don't look at me."

(DAWN MACKENA)
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They both say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.
[Charlotte rolls her eyes] Oh please.

Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

(WILLIAM GRAY)
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
Is he gay or European?
or-

The Aviator suddenly slams her hand on the desk, looking angery:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy's not gay, I say, no way.

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume
Is automatically-radically
Ironically chronically
Certainly flirtingly
Genetically medically

[As they sing, Nume is seen talking to another male agent. They seem happy and flirty]

GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
[Nume kisses a woman agent on the hand] DAMNIT!

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
Gay or European?

(THE LIBRARIAN)
So stylish and relaxed.

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
Is he gay or European?

(THE LIBRARIAN)
I think his chest is waxed.

(DAWN MC KENA)
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.

(LOLA MCCANDLES)
Yeah, his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

(KARA JENG)
But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday.

(CHORUS OF AGENTS)
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-

Finally, William stands up, silencing everyone. "Wait a minute! Give me a chance to crack this guy. I have an idea I'd like to try."

He walks up to Nume, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear. "So, Mr. Super... This alleged affair with Ms. Luxury has been going on for...?"
"2 years." He said.
"And your first name is...?"
"Nume."
"And your boyfriend's name is...?"
"Ilraen." He suddenly goes wide-eyed and coughs loudly. "I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend. I thought you say best friend. Ilraen is my best friend."

From the back of the group of Agents out comes very angry Ilraen, and screams at Nume. "You bastard! You lying bastard! That's it. I no cover for you, no more! Peoples." He turns towards the group. "I have a big announcement."

This man is Gay AND European!
And neither is disgrace
You gotta stop your being
a completely closet case.
It's me, not her, he's seeing.
No matter what he say.
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming one-man cabaret.

Nume stiffens. "I'm straight!"
"You were not yesterday." Ilraen winks at him from one of his stalk eyes.

He stands on one of the table, as he and the Chorus finish!
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's gay!
(And European!)
He's gay!
(And European!)
He's gay!
(And European) and Gay!

Nume slams hands on the table: "Fine okay I'm gay!"

HOORAY!



A/N.: So that's it. Let me know if you like it, and if you want another song done in the same way!!!!

SUMMARY: When Supernumerary asked to be partnered with an Andalite, he had no idea how deep the partnership would become. SupernumeraryxIlraen.

A/N: HI GUYS!!! So I decided I'm going to finally start that Nume/Ilraen fic that's been bouncing around in my head! Hope you like!

Chapter One

Supernumerary of the Department of Improbably Crossovers was sitting in a chair reading a book. He looked up whe nhe heard a knock on the door. "Come in," he said and got up to answer it. He almost fell over when he realized the Flowers had sent him an Andalite. "Are you my new partner?" he asked eagerly.

The Andalite nodded. "My name is Ilraen." He said. (A/n I can't remember the rest of his name sorry!) "I was rescued from a badfic. It is very nice to meet you." He held out a hand and they shook.

Nume was startled when an electric shock past between them but he shook it off and stood aside, holding the door open so Ilraen could come in. "I'm Supernumerary," he said. Ilraen smiled.

"I don't think you're supernumerary at all." He said, "Even if you are in a rather small department."

"No no, that's my name," Nume said, laughing. "So what brings you to the PPC?"

"I am a badfic rescue." Ilraen said, his extra eye things moving around as he looked at the RC. "But I was given a chip in my head that gives me information about the Andalite home world so I can better act like a real Andalite." He smoothed down his cerulean fur then laced his fingers together. "It will be good to get settled in."

"I could give you a tour later." Nume said.

Ilraen smiled, except with his eyes because he didn't have a mouth. "I would like that very much."

A/N: More to come as I get inspired! More reviews=MORE INSPIRATION!!!

And I am so, so very sorry for how immature I've been in years passed. Now I'm going to write MATURE Nume/Ilrean slashfics for ALL YOUR ENJOYMENT! :DDDDD