Oh man, Harry is so angry at Lily! . . . Why, though? Like, I can understand a bit of teenage frustration over everyone trying to make him leave that night, especially in light of him being correct, that his and the other students’ wands were necessary to join in the defense spell. But Lily didn’t get Gideon or Regulus killed; Harry ought to be saving his anger for Gaunt! Poor Lily . . .

Jeeze, seeing Dumbledore’s hair supernaturally shortened and dehydrated really shows just how much power Gaunt was wielding during that battle, and that’s just when drawing on Pettigrew’s magic! (I think? He was the only one whining about it during that chapter, at any rate.) And I see Dumbledore has also dropped the series title in this new prophecy. I like that the prophecy in this timeline is even vaguer than the one in canon, and therefore even less connected to Harry. It ties back to Lily not wanting Harry to see himself as a “Chosen One” figure. Of course, she’s just wanting to keep Harry safe, but it also means that Harry has chosen to stand up to Gaunt of his own volition because it’s the right thing to do, unlike the canon Harry getting more or less coerced into it through Voldemort “choosing” him. Hm. “For the land of rotting apples, the Heirs of Avalon will rise.” But we don’t actually know who’s set to inherit “Avalon” at this point. I want to see the “land of rotting apples” as Wizarding Britain, where the corrupt “few bad apples” have “spoiled the bushel,” the whole society. Which would then mean the heirs of society, the young folks, are going to rise up to reform things? But it looks like the “bad egg” expression only dates back to the 1800s, so it’s not a phrase Tycho Dodonus would have used for that meaning . . . Dumbledore also touches on my main criticism of afterlife myths, which is that they encourage people to devalue the world they live in, and place all their energy and resources into “earning the right afterlife,” rather than taking care of the world and the other life forms in it. It’s an emotional crutch against the fear of death, but death is a normal part of life, and can’t be avoided or, dare I say it, magiced away. Funny how Gaunt is using afterlife fears to manipulate and control, while his canon counterpart was trying to avoid death entirely! No, societies with an unrealistic attitude towards death don’t produce very healthy psychological profiles, do they?

Welp. The couple is together. Yay? I know this is where they were headed endgame-wise, but I’m still more on Hermione’s side that Harry is rushing in too young, into a culture with unhealthy practices and strictures. Plus, I’ll admit my view of your Draco has dimmed a bit with him joining the Inquisitorial Squad, even if he ultimately wasn’t very loyal to Umbridge. I’m a lot more interested in what’s happening with Draco’s parents right now. “A purge at Malfoy Manor?” Surely Gaunt wasn’t so angry about Lucius leaving the ceremony to rescue his own son, as to retaliate?! Draco is a Pureblood heir, Gaunt should see rescuing him as a reasonable investment of time! And surely he didn’t straight-up kill Lucius, for the same reason of keeping Pureblood influence in the Ministry? Actually, my main guess would be that Gaunt has transferred the Malfoy family magic to Bellatrix, on grounds that she’s Narcissa’s sister?

. . . And what other households are due for "purging"?

Dropping Harry off with the Dursleys hits so. Hard. Harry’s summers in this timeline have been so nice, getting to interact with friends, go to birthdays and parties, work on projects . . . I don’t know if this version of Harry is prepared for an entire, wandless summer with the Dursleys, and frankly, I don’t know if I’m ready to read it, either . . . at least Dudley is going to be 15/16ish, so we can skip the worst of his bullying tendencies from the earlier canon books. And there’d better be no cupboard under the stairs, Harry deserves a real bedroom! (Also, honestly, I'm not sure if I agree with Lily confiscating his wand? A Ministry employee has already managed to sick a dark magic creature on Harry in a Muggle neighborhood; it might be better to, you know, NOT deprive him of his only source of magical defense?!)

I am chiseling “[I]t is the mark of a tyrant to speak of fear and sell themselves as hope” on the wall in my brain. Thank you.

"Draco followed Crookshank’s gaze"
I think an “s” got dropped before the apostrophe, though I know making proper nouns ending in “s” into possessive form is a whole can of worms . . .

—doctorlit read-and-reviewed this instead of shopping today; time well spent!

Lily. This chapter is a masterpiece. Bravo.

I’m actually a bit amused by Umbridge assuming Harry was lying about attending the swearing-in ceremony, just because it reveals how baldly self-interested she is. Just like the author of that opinion piece last chapter, Umbridge can’t imagine that the change in leadership is going to have any affect on daily life, and takes it for granted that the students must still be focused on her rise to power at Hogwarts. Her power is the only thing she thinks about, so it must be the predominant thought in everyone else’s mind, right? Also, when the scream rang out in the forest, I totally thought you had killed off Umbridge, but I’ll get over my disappointment someday.

I really enjoyed Draco having a moment to go hero mode, here! Ditching Umbridge in the forest, rocking Harry’s cloak and cat, and we even see a sign of character development, where he treats the Thestral with kindness, a big change from the Hippogriff lessons from year three. (Also, I totally thought Crookshanks was doing that thing where cats think humans are crappy hunters and try to feed them random animals! It was hilarious for that moment, which made the reveal that she was bringing a snack for the Thestral even funnier.) But even better was Lucius getting a hero moment! I love Draco goading Umbridge into using Cruciatus and tanking that pain just so he could communicate it to his dad and finally get the evidence needed to make Umbridge face consequences. But more than that, I love Lucius leaving the Ministry mid-ceremony to bust straight into Umbridge’s office and end her Hogwarts career! The theme of a Malfoy parent turning against their “side” to rescue and care for Draco is excellent, just as we saw with Narcissa in Deathly Hallows In this moment, Lucius is righteously angry, legitimately surprised at the lengths Umbridge was willing to go to, and I love the vibes.

Ugh, all that blatantly religious ritual taking up most of the swearing-in ceremony, it’s a wonder the protesters didn’t fall asleep before Gaunt starting speaking! But it’s a good way of showing how a lot of people in the Purityworld government have motives at odds with actually running the society and serving its citizens, culminating with Gaunt changing the words of the oath to openly admit where his interests lie. Honestly, I didn’t catch until just now what a close parallel exists between the return of King Arthur in this universe, and the return of Jesus Christ in the real world. (I see this as less a failure of reading comprehension on my part, and more just the fact that I don’t look forward to the world ending in my day-to-day life . . .) In light of the debate that just took place in the U.S., I can’t help but see strong parallels between Gaunt’s speech in this chapter, and an awful lot of Trump’s words. Both of them spent their time listing negatives about their own country, but despite the implication that they’re the mighty strongmen needed to fix those problems, neither offers any actual plans or policy. It’s all just for the sake of fearmongering, getting the safe and comfortable citizens of both communities to be frightened of Muggles and Muggleborns, Mexican immigrants, Mother Magic apostates, the LGBTQ+ community, and Gillyweed and fentanyl being smuggled into the country. (Oh, didn’t you know you can smoke Gillyweed? You can totally smoke Gillyweed. NSFW lyrics inside) That was such an interesting way and moment to work the “no good and evil” speech from Philosopher’s Stone into this timeline. It shows how Gaunt has twisted his religious views into justification for his own personal ambition, and that quote, plus his naming himself as the “Chosen One,” really get across his base motivations for everything he’s doing. It’s not enough for Gaunt to enforce the existing social hierarchy, or to be Chief Warlock or Minister for Magic or even High Lord Slytherin; he has a messiah complex, he needs to be worshipped and respected as a chosen one, he . . . well dang, he wants to be seen as a hero, doesn’t he? But not to do good, like Harry feels compelled to, but rather to be viewed as over and above everyone else . . .

So yeah, the fight scene. I realized, about two paragraphs before Harry did, that Gaunt must have drained Regulus’s magic. That, plus the escaped Knights of Camelot being planted in the audience ahead of time, shows that Gaunt was planning for things to turn violent all along. I was briefly excited about the Knights appearing, because I didn’t think Gaunt would be able to explain away their presence in the audience, but in retrospect, the rest of the seated audience clearly never noticed them throughout the ceremony. And the Knights waited until moving out of the Aurors’ barrier to start attacking, which will just make it easier for Gaunt to claim they were working with Regulus. Sigh, Regulus. He had a good run in this timeline, but just couldn’t get far enough away from canon. My expectations for Sirius to be the one to die kept messing with me throughout the fight, as well: he kept charging headlong for Pettigrew, which reminded me of his behavior in canon before he got killed by Bellatrix. But then, Neville kept going after Bellatrix, which made me think he was going to become the victim, especially after “Nice try, Baby Longbottom!” And for a brief moment, I thought Gideon fulfilled the death criteria from the prophecy, and that we weren’t going to lose anyone more important, no offense to Gideon, of course. (I hadn’t read the warnings beforehand, so I didn’t realize both a minor and major death were on the table!) That fountain was some nasty, fascist imagery, so I’m hardly sad to see it obliterated, but I wish it hadn’t taken Regulus with it, wish Gaunt had been a better sport and left Regulus able to defend himself better. And of course, once Gaunt reinstates Bellatrix as the Lady Black, she’ll be able to drain Sirius’s magic, leaving him too vulnerable to enter combat situations as well . . . This was a crushing blow, too crushing to feel very good about Umbridge’s impending removal, and there are dark times ahead . . .

“For what felt like the umpteenth time tonight, he tugged himself free of the stupid grown-up trying to force him away from the people he had to protect . . .”
Again, you’re showing us peak Harry, but you’ve also distilled probably the best essence of the Potter series into this line: young people seeing the injustices in the world, and being willing to upend anything to correct it, only for the comfortable powers that be to say that nothing can change, this is how things are, we all have to follow the rules, just don’t look outside and you don’t have to think about it . . . We all have to tug ourselves free of the stupid grown-ups, and protect the people who need protection. (Not dunking on Remus for trying to get Harry away from danger, obviously that was a reasonable course of action; I’m just speaking metaphorically.)

Hope the move went well!

—if doctorlit were a Hogwarts portrait, he would have spent the entirety of year 5 in Umbridge’s plates, petting all the kitties

(edited to fix link)

Oh yeah, the vibes were bad going into this one. I’m pretty sure Vablatsky is seeing the Basilisk in her early vision, and I had an inkling the “hierophant” from her second appearance was Gaunt. Peeking at the Potterverse Wiki, I see that Basilisks are also referred to as “the King of Serpents,” which means Trelawney’s prophecy is likely also alluding to it; in fact, I rather hope she is, because “the crown pierced with a sword” could then mean Slytherin’s Basilisk is going to meet the same fate as its canon counterpart, though apparently “at a heavy cost.” (Side note: this was an amazing way to introduce Trelawney for the first time! Having her unexpectedly drop a full prophecy on live spellcast in the middle of a fraught election is a seriously powerful scene, and I love it, both as a paragraph to read, and when picturing how much of New Avalon just heard it live in their living rooms! people must be freaking out!) Ultimately, I guess I knew at some level that Gaunt winning made the most sense from a plot standpoint, but I still didn’t want it, and I was still reading each new set of vote counts with my stomach hanging below my knees. And now that Gaunt is in a position of governmental power again, the protagonists are going to have to do a lot of fighting to—Oh no, hang on, “Temperance’s sacrifice will go to naught” . . . I need to look up what “temperance” means real quick.

. . . Dang it, Lily. Don’t do this to us! Temperance is Regulus, isn’t it? I’m going all out of order for how I wanted to write this comment, but I can’t pretend like I’ve forgotten the plot of Order of the Phoenix. That dream sequence of memories, wonderful as it is, didn’t really come from Lily, did it? Harry didn’t practice his Occlumency properly, someone’s planted memories in his head to trick him into going to the Ministry, and we’re going to lose Sirius a second time. The future is bleak!

(And for a significantly more unhinged prediction, I still haven’t let go of my semi-joking comment about Astoria carrying out Harry’s Act of Contrition, in the form of bringing him Gaunt’s head. Looking at this line in Trelawney’s prophecy: “A Pureblood of wild heart and immense power, bearing the crown pierced with a sword, shall bring forth the new Camelot and rescue their fallen House from perdition.” That does sound an awful lot like Astoria; she’s Pureblood, she’s wild for her fundamentalist religion, she IS powerful, in spite of her blood curse, as I alluded to before, since she was able to overpower numerous uncursed students, as well as two adult men, one of whom had no curse affecting his magic. Her House could be viewed as “fallen,” in the sense that she and her aunt are both criminals. If she’s the one “bearing the crown pierced,” my theory at the moment is that she really is going to behead Gaunt, only for the Basilisk to be revealed as a Horcrux, allowing him to resurrect as a more “traditionally Voldemort” figure, and seize greater control, “bring[ing] forth the new Camelot.” As you can see, I am engaging with this story at a completely normal and healthy level!)

Excellent writing in that opinion piece in the Prophet; it gets across the sheltered attitude of the privileged sort of people whose lives don’t change when the reins of power change, and have no recognition for the suffering that a bigoted, controlling authoritarian can cause people in marginalized groups. I also love that “Encombrer” spell, because of course Hagrid has been learning French spells from Maxime, and of course the French have a literal barricade spell! And, of course, I have to acknowledge your reference to one of the most highbrow pieces of literature ever produced from the Harry Potter zeitgeist, the mysterious ticking noise!

One question on this line:
“Sev, please, begged Mum, cradling a wailing Harry to his chest as the agony of a snapped Matrimonial Bond burned right through her.
I’m not sure if that “his” is an error, or if it’s an acknowledgement that Harry is experiencing his baby self against his own chest, since he’s in Lily’s point of view in that memory?

—doctorlit is filled with dread for the future of this story, and for another upcoming election . . .

Oh, this was an excellent action scene to open on! I was trying to wrack my brain on how the scene had gone in canon, and checking just now, it was really just Harry taking the Trip Jinx from Draco. So yes, I love your fight scene, awful though it is to see the Inquisitorial Squad attacking other students. (Seeing the Patil twins on opposite sides of the conflict is particularly painful, despite how little page time they’ve had in both canon and Heirs of Avalon; I guess I hate to think that twins have grown up so ideologically opposed to each other to wind up in a fight like this?) And speaking of twins, I love the quick detail that Fred and George have become so knowledgeable of Hogwarts’s layout, that they even knew of a secret passage in and out of the Room of Requirement. And Neville learning a form of spell he’s proficient at, involving a magic plant, of course, is quite satisfying to see!

Dumbledore goes so hard in the scene in his office. It was one thing in canon, where he saw his name on the Dumbledore’s Army paper and seized on it as an opportunity to take the blame. But in this chapter, he just goes for it, absolutely concocts his own evil!Dumbledore fanfiction plot on the spot. And cramming that last bit of, “Draco, I totally bank-robbed you, mua ha ha” was so unexpected and random I could barely move past it, it was just too funny! (I guess that was Dumbledore giving Draco an excuse to Lucius for all the potions he had bought for Luna throughout the year?)

The argument and break-up between Harry and Qiu was inevitable, and I’m glad they finally reached that point and got it over with. It was an excellent fight, they both got their digs in, they made the other people in the room hilariously uncomfortable (have fun falling asleep thinking about Draco’s moisture level, Ron!), and they left the room on equal terms. Well done, kids! And the apology before the Quidditch game was just as good, both offering some thought towards the other’s friend who had led to the fight, both keeping their distance without turning mean again. The kids are all right!

Nice try, Lily, you can describe “beardless Hagrid” as many times as you like, but Hagrid has a beard. My brain is incapable of picturing him any other way, and neither you nor I have the power to change that. There is only one Hagrid, and nothing can change that. My therapist says beardless Hagrid isn’t real, and can’t hurt me.

Umbridge is the worst, that’s always been clear. But this chapter really gets across what a pathetic pick-me witch she is. The new info revealed about her family: she paid her own father to leave the country? It doesn’t matter how much she does to conform to New Avalon, because she will only, ever, be allowed and welcomed to blend in at the bottom. “I’m not like those other Muggleborns, I’m one of the good ones!” But never good enough to be accepted by her own Inquisitorial Squad as Headmistress, never good enough to take on the “priest” role at dinner, never good enough to climb where her ambitions reaches for. Because the Purebloods will never see her to be as good as them. That’s just not how a hierarchical society works; the people at the top will only ever allow those below them to disappear into the mass of commoners. Now, to be very clear, I am in no way feeling bad for Umbridge here, just pitying her for all the worthless effort she’s going to, to get absolutely nowhere. She really does seem to want that “priest” role, leading the prayers, simply because she wasn’t allowed to when she was a student. (And yuck, prayer in school, maybe the Catholic and Hindu and atheist/agnostic students don’t want to thank your deity for the food? Amazingly unexpected name drop for Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles, though!) And that detention session was way beyond the pale, flexing on a fifteen-year-old that she had the power to hurt his friends . . . She is pathetic and sick and disturbing.

So, viva la revolution! There was something so empowering and energizing in the moment when the newest Polixenes pamphlet appeared on the front page of this culture’s biggest newspaper, for a student publication to receive such a mainstream and high profile level of distribution . . . it just feels so right and vindicating, after everything Hermione has gone through this year! And I love that the ensuing state of rebellion even goes beyond the changes that Umbridge enacted, because why do the students have to sit at assigned tables for meals? Maybe the houses wouldn’t develop grudges so easily if they weren’t basically segregated from each other! I hope that particular behavior doesn’t relapse after Umbridge leaves! And Dobby is out here speaking deep truths: as I think I mentioned in a comment earlier this year, keeping the students bickering among each other, and shattering connections between different friend groups, was an explicit goal for Umbridge to help keep control over the student body. Authoritarians are allergic to a united lower class! And I love that Dobby was able to push the elves to strike partly through the story of the friendship that had grown between Draco and Ron.

I love the detail that the centaurs use a lot of spider silk in their tools. It makes sense they would take advantage of the acromantula colony’s presence in the forest as a resource. And silk is underappreciated for its strength! And also, it’s just a cool thing to exist, that a group of animals can produce their own, organic building material! Wow, I’m rambling . . . My last note says, “coven schools are charter schools oh god,” which is all that needs to be said there, I think!

—doctorlit kind of wants to ask what FÖRVIRRING actually is, but then again, maybe he really, really doesn’t

Oh boy, the relationship between Harry and Qiu was even less healthy than I realized! I don’t blame them too much, mind you, they’re both traumatized just from growing up in this freaky culture, let alone piling the Cedric situation on top of that. But yeah, this chapter was a bit of a slog for me, not because of your writing in any way, just . . . I don’t care about all this teen romance drama. Don’t get me wrong, I loved, “Harry hadn’t been paying that much attention to Draco’s growing list of admirers, but: [enumerated list],” as well as Crookshanks sensing that Harry is deceiving himself and trying to correct his direction towards Draco, excellent use of Kneazle instinct! And you’re really writing Harry at his peak, core essence here, what with immediately abandoning his own conviction against courtship practices to save Qiu from bullying, and then immediately abandoning his date with Qiu to save Draco from drowning. (He couldn’t have known how shallow the lake was before he got into it!) But overall, wow, let’s get back to toppling fascistic authoritarians, my eyes are ready for it!

Oh man, “THE FALL OF AVALON BEGAN WITH A SELFISH HIGH QUEEN”. Oh man, I so rarely think about the whole Guinevere/Lancelot affair because again, don’t care about romance drama. If Guinevere and Lancelot and Arthur are all doing right by the kingdom and protecting their citizens, I don’t particularly care what level and frequency of bed-sharing is going on in the castle. But I can see how, in the extremely healthy culture that is New Avalon, Guinevere would be turned into a symbol of adultery, similar to how the names of Jezebel and Delilah from the Bible are still used to similar purpose in the real world. But it’s so gross! Even if she was real in this universe, it was over a millennium ago! And her name is still being used to shame and control women! The leader of the Jewel Riders deserves more respect! (Jeeze, I remember those characters looking so much older in the early 90s . . .)

One scene you did especially well was the Legilimency lesson. All the various memories being described so quickly gave that sequence a dreamlike vibe that really added to the feeling that Harry was being dragged along through his own memories, just really perfect pacing and description throughout

My face when the narrative gives Harry’s pronunciation of Madam Yue’s name, and implies it’s wrong, and I was reading it as exactly the same as Harry pronounces it . . .

Man, the second I saw Marietta’s face covered, I knew it was coming . . . Anyway, the political debate at the end was a very welcome breather from the teen romance stuff! Gaunt is being nasty up there. As much as Silverstream’s plan to revitalize Knockturn Alley is blatant gentrification, it’s sure a nicer outlook than Gaunt’s “let rich people do what they want and everybody else can bite me lol.” Honestly, my estimation of Silverstream has gone up a bit, just seeing how she’s willing to stand up for herself against Gaunt and call him on his own points. I know Regulus is still the best option, and he’s still giving the best responses up on that stage, but my hope for him winning is gone. But the society will certainly be able to survive Clinton Biden Silverstream getting elected. (In before she gets Imperiused and forced to drop out, just like Thicknesse probably was.) Anyway, I see we’re rolling towards the final confrontation against Umbridge, and I am quite ready for it! (Boy, this year feels so different without the Department of Mysteries plot!)

Oh boy, I don’t know if I’ll do very well at guessing the Lady Polixenes stories, but I’ll give it a shot:
-“creative couple, families in conversation, namesake, golden bangle. . .” Yeah, I’ve literally got nothing.
-“two young men” with all the song titles, that one’s obviously Dean and Seamus
-the “gemstone mine” situation, nope, don’t know these people, way too many background characters in this series . . .
-the “plant-loving heir” and “new bloods” are obviously Neville and the Creeveys, not sure who Colin is trying date, though it’s obviously the girl who walked in on Luna in the bathroom.
-And the last story, of course, is Harry, Draco and Qiu, no bonus points for me on that one!

—doctorlit notes that Hermione ♪wrote her way out♪ in a way that hurt her loved ones and turned them against her, in a way reminiscent of a certain U.S. Secretary of the Treasury . . .

Man, I’m feeling so much solidarity with this version of Hermione right now! That paragraph about Hogwarts feeling “so small, so petty,” when measured up against all the problems in her world . . . there’s so much to fix, yet we’re asked to keep clocking in and out, and paying our bills, and buying our groceries, because forcing us to fixate on the everyday keeps us from looking at the big picture and trying to change anything. We’re all so stuck repeating our actions on the assembly line, that no one has time to go looking for the off switch . . . And then, when Hermione thinks she finds the off switch, it brings down the whole factory instead of letting anyone rest! She wanted so hard to try to make things better, and instead Gaunt is seizing the moment to demolish his strongest opponent, leaving only the hope that Clinton Biden Silverstream can manage to pull ahead in the end so they don’t get stuck with the worst option, even though Silverstream herself was never the best option. (Having the privilege of the reader’s eye, I forget sometimes that most of this culture doesn’t realize Gaunt is the leader of the Knights, so it was a bit mind-blowing to see Gaunt blaming Dumbledore for that!) It’s so frustrating, and I feel so bad for Hermione just wanting change, and coming up against the bad actors in her culture who are desperate to stall and halt change as long as possible. The end to this chapter is crushing . . . All the same, it’s given me a thrill to see Hermione drift from Lawful Good to Neutral Good this year; at least Umbridge is teaching some of the students that not all laws are legitimate!

I hate to have Jacques lose his role in the story; he’s been a delight whenever he appeared so far. But I am glad he and Liu were finally able to be open about the three-way Bond! Even if, as Umbridge said, the “extra” Bonds aren’t recognized on paper, at least people will realize there isn’t any sneaking behind each other’s backs going on.

That scene with Victor Krum was interesting. We know the “Peverell crest/Mark of Grindelwald” is a representation of the Deathly Hallows, but since the Hallows seem to have a lot less cultural significance in this timeline, it makes sense that people would associate it more with Grindelwald himself than with the original legend and items. And in light of that, even knowing that Xenophilius wears it as a symbol of the Hallows, it does feel insensitive for him to wear it in public . . . I can understand Krum getting angry about that!

Some minor points I enjoyed today:
-“Thank the hearth” is an excellent invention for a house-elf saying!
-Dobby just can’t get away from thrown daggers, can he?
-As much as I dislike Astoria, her mustering up the power to fire off that Stunning Spell, and she and Luna dancing in celebration afterwards, was pretty darn cute!

One mini-Aragog:
“Hermione could feel Ron tensing beside her, probably because of the mention of the Drumstrang headmaster.”
Perhaps the Free Elves’ Orchestra could use a drummer? And eight-legged drummer?

—doctorlit, waiting for change . . .

ad to an Acceptable and Fine Amount of Consequences

Okay, I know ultimately Hermione is the one who chose to publicly reveal the situations with Regulus, but boy, did the adults in the Order not do themselves any favors, giving her the Office Space treatment. (“The Office Space treatment” is my nickname for when multiple authority figures all come down on someone to repeat the same criticism about a single mistake the someone made, based on the scene in Office Space where three supervisors lecture their employee for a harmless paperwork error in quick succession, where once would have sufficed.) They all know how strong-willed and defiant Hermione is; they should have known ragging on her about her potential decision was going to set her mind more strongly, and maybe make her do it sooner, too. Grown-ups just don’t understand! And I’m right there with Hermione, being a young person wanting to fix problems, and it feels like all the adults in the campaign are focusing everywhere except on the actual problems! It makes it all the easier for me to sympathize with her, and understand her decision . . . and all the more horrified at the absolute pile of train wrecks she’s inflicted onto her society as a result! With Gaunt influencing the Dementors to “strike” to bust his Knights out of Azkaban, and to provide a pretense for Thicknesse dropping out (under the Imperius again?), this is easily going to shift the polling data in a way Hermione didn’t foresee, at the worst possible time for Regulus to see a decline in support. Additionally, she’s completely demolished the ties between her own friend group, and outed herself to Umbridge, and potentially sent Umbridge on the trail of other students who haven’t actually done anything involved with the gossip pamphlets. Still, I stand by her anger and her desire to improve the world; they are good, and justified! Plus, the silver lining here is that it looks like the Order’s main focus is discovering the cause of all the missing Muggles at Silveryholt, which likely hasn’t been affected by Hermione at all; if anything, her interference in the political aims of Regulus is going to serve as a distraction for Gaunt to pay less attention to Silveryholt. I don’t know if the Slytherin basilisk is public knowledge in this timeline, but I hope the Order can discover it (safely) either way, and make Gaunt face consequences for, you know. Feeding people to it!

Okay, I can’t put this off any longer: I was right the first time about Hermione being Polixenes?! I should have stuck to my guns! I forget now whatever it was that made me dismiss Hermione, but I remember being so sure it couldn’t be her any more . . . whatever act she put up, it was convincing! Man, blast it, I was so close and then veered off . . . I really convinced myself Fred and George were spending their off time doing extra writing work? What is wrong with me!?

Oh, I really enjoyed the scene where Jenni went full FicPsych on Sirius! Nice to see her dipping into her AU self’s talent pool, and it looks like the man really needed it, too. Good for her! And good for him!

—doctorlit feels like Hermione’s dad reminding her to study is like another parent reminding their child to breathe air

Oh, Lily was actually sponsored by the Prince family? Interesting detail; that probably made it all the worse for her when Severina started spiraling into bad places, and frankly, worse places than Severus did. I had forgotten about the Mary Macdonald incident from canon, but it definitely feels like the event was significantly worse in this timeline. Severina has a LOT to atone for, so I can see why she wanted to be Harry’s Occlumency teacher, although I’m somehow more frustrated with her efforts than Severus’s, despite the similar structure. I have a feeling Liu is giving Draco a bit more actual instruction than just, “I’m going to pew pew your brain, try and stop me!” Like, both Harry and Severina acknowledge that Harry is starting with less experience than he should, so maybe some actual teaching would be helpful here? I was, however, amused that Harry’s surface-level thoughts are basically, “Oops, All Boyfriend.” Don’t do puberty, kids, those hormones will really get you! (Oh, and speaking of Liu, I am in deep love with him and Jenni distributing contraband books to Hogwarts students, partly because it's such a glorious concept on its nose, partly because it’s in direct defiance of Umbridge, and partly because the unpublished book I’m reading through for Rosie right now features characters distributing contraband books! “If I had a nickel for every . . .”)

But speaking of Umbridge, we’ve had a lovely break from her, but she’s back on the page now, and Hogwarts is feeling bleak. Banning children from hugging or holding hands is not psychologically healthy in any way! And Hermione is losing it. While there’s a degree of fun in seeing her start rebelling against the system of rules and discipline she normally honors, it’s also a bit worrying to see her change so much. I understand why she went to Polixenes to expose the situation with the vassal bonds, but oh boy, she may have just handed Silverstream the win for Minister there. Nothing to do but watch what happens . . .

With Umbridge’s weird reaction to Professor Babbling’s wardstone dating project (which sounds extremely fun and cool, by the way, would read a whole story about that), I can actually buy that “conspiracy theory” about Binns being kept as a history teacher because his poor delivery makes the students less likely to question the Ministry’s actions and beliefs. The detail about Babbling’s long lifespan is intriguing. I doubt she’s a ghost; it feels more likely, considering what she teaches, that she did something involving runes that preserved some imprint of herself in the room that’s able to linger and interact with people beyond her own death. She might be something like the “shades” produced from the Resurrection Stone, and keeps the lighting low so people can’t tell that her colors are “washed out.” Although if she’s been physically accompanying Draco into the Chamber of Secrets, I suppose that annihilates that theory!

I’ll have you know, when I read Draco criticizing the “plebian cheese sandwiches,” I was having a perfectly filling clearance pizza crust with mozzarella melted all over it. There was no need for Draco to insult my very normal adult meal like that! (That wasn’t my whole dinner, of course. I had gummy bears, too.)

(For anyone other than Lily reading, I do recommend butting out now, because I think I’m about to accurately identify Lady Polixenes at the end of this paragraph. You have been warned!) That really is a top-quality little essay that Polixenes published at the end of this chapter. Very engaging, very swaying, I agree wholeheartedly. I wonder if Polixenes always rights essays of such quality for schoolwork, because they’re not exactly known for their academic performance. Maybe it’s just a matter of the right motivation? Let’s look at our list of clues so far:
-Polixenes feels no duty to uphold Pureblood or Circle social mores
-Polixenes chafes under Umbridge’s authority
-Polixenes has access to all kinds of gossip from around the school
-Polixenes is familiar with Muggle literature, specifically 1984
-Polixenes may be using the title “Lady” partly to obfuscate their actual gender identity
The last point is pure supposition on Ron’s part, and doesn’t eliminate anyone out of the students or staff. The first two points are also very broad, especially since the Inquisitorial Squad appears to be anonymous in this timeline. The third point is a bit of a null data point, since we have no idea who Fred and George have given or sold extendable ears to at this point, so just about any students could be abusing one of those (except Harry, since his status as the point-of-view character means we-the-reader know he hasn’t been spending time on an illicit printing press. The most unique thing we know is 1984. There are, of course, plenty of Muggleborn and Half-Blood students who may have encountered Muggle literature at home&mdas;heck, Draco probably isn’t the only Pureblood who’s been sneaking some himself! However, there’s only one character who’s been explicitly stated to be reading 1984, isn’t there? Or rather, a pair of characters, and one of them even quoted from it this very chapter (after I had arrived at this conclusion, for the record!). So, let’s reexamine our list:
-the Weasley family had their social status and wealth taken away due to Circle of Avalon politics
-the twins chafe under most authority, really, and were famously, militantly opposed to Umbridge in canon
-the twins are themselves the supply of extendable ears, and have the most access to the product
-the twins were reading 1984 this year, and George quoted “wrongthink thoughtcrime” in conversation this chapter
-Not only was Ron right about “Lady” being a misleading title in the publications, but so was the pronoun “I.” What better way for a pair of male authors to hide their identities than to present themselves as a single woman?
Lady Polixenes is actually Fred and George Weasley! (And if I’m wrong this time, I’m truly giving up.)

—doctorlit still finds the existence of Babbling Beverage to be one of the weirder inventions in the Wizarding World

It's all right! I know real life can be busy as hell.

Yeah the one big happy Weasley family thing falls apart when you're in it :P and I feel like Molly and Arthur even in the books were arguing a bunch--or, rather, Molly seemed to henpeck Arthur a lot. But yes, the formerly-moneyed-but-had-it-all-confiscated situation here does amplify arguments since neither Molly nor Arthur were raised to handle economic precarity. Love can't buy your kids food and robes for Hogwarts, after all.

I made the deliberate choice to have the Weasleys in that situation because it's the natural extension/subversion of the idea that families "in the sacred 28" must be Pureblood aristocrats with money and Wizengamot seats. It always seems to extend naturally to, say, Blacks, Malfoys, Potters, but not so much to Weasleys because, well, they're poor in canon so fandom gets weirdly classist about them. And yet, in the books, the type of poverty the Weasleys are in is a fairly genteel sort and Arthur Weasley's job at the Ministry, while unglamorous, gives him enough power to write laws that affect people like Mr Bashir (GOF) and Lucius Malfoy (CoS, Muggle Protection Act). So I've tried to be a little bit more consistent with the sort of social punishment that took the Weasleys' former status away from them.

The wardstone of a magical family powers the house's wards, so yes, the Ministry was trying to remove the wardstone out of the building so that the land could be sold to pay back Lord Septimus' debts. However, I kinda borrowed from Encanto's Casita for the Burrow--that thing isn't going anywhere without a fight! Hence them deciding to confiscate the house-elves instead.

Of course Ron is acting bratty in his own way. He's eleven, and he's had ten years of (what he perceives as) unfair treatment :P

Given that I'm leaning hard into making a magical bond look and act like Voldemort and Harry's horcrux bond, it only seemed natural to have Occlumency be more widespread as a result.

Re: the poison: it was B :P Occam's razor. The reason for the poison flashback is to show Lily and Severina brewing a poison that acts like black mamba venom, and then imply that black mambas and runespoors are close enough taxonomically (they're both native to Burkina Faso) that runespoor antivenom would neutralise this poison. And the ASKE antivenom was, yes, a stopgap--it's more effective against stuff like bee stings and Swedish Short-Snout bites, but it managed to keep Lily from going into total anaphylactic shock before help could come.

(The idea is, ofc, that it looks like a bad allergic reaction to most people, and initially medics would try to treat an allergy not knowing it was replicated snake venom. And then by then it would be too late.)

Lockhart is just being weird lolol that monologue is from A Very Potter Senior Year!

Yeah, this world's messed Neville up :P Purity culture is one hell of a drug!

Actually, the deliberate usage of Monty Python by Mr Weasley has a more prosaic reason, as mentioned during the Christmas Eve parlour dance when Ron mentioned Dirty Dancing Filthy Frolicking. Mr Weasley just watches a ton of Muggle films and has instilled a healthy love of Muggle literature, cinema, and music in his kids. Though he has his gaps--Ron hasn't read LotR yet, and didn't know about Star Wars and Doctor Who until he befriended Harry! But we see the twins knowing about 1984, and Ginny listening to vinyls, so of course by the end Arthur is just throwing out Monty Python references because, well, the whole game is made up and Avalon isn't even real, so why not be silly with it? utilising the incredibly risky and radical Mordicus Egg Gambit which, if played perfectly straight, allows one any amount of silly Muggle film references that force the Purebloods to either accept the location as a valid location in Avalon, or contest it and therefore confess to consuming Muggle film.

Narcissa was established in Year Three as taking parlour games very seriously. It's because the Black sisters were very competitive growing up. Lucius tries to hold his own, but Narcissa knows exactly how to push his buttons...

Thanks for catching the misspellings!

(I wanted a Regulus who was different from the fandom-popular sarcastic sad boy (that's just Snape reskinned to be rich ok) so my Regulus is a bit pompous and all about manners and being civil, so that's why he's Momma's Boy, as well as why he seems so much more mature than Sirius.)

Edit: Oop, I meant vice versa. facepalm

--Ls

. . . Well, gosh. Hermione seemed to so obviously be Lady Polixenes before, but this chapter is making me doubt that. I could understand her not reporting the cursed quill when Hermione was the only victim, to help obfuscate Polixenes’s identity, but she surely would have said something when Luna started getting hurt. My suspicion has now turned upon Lavender, of all characters. Lavender is riding the Pureblood train hard in this timeline, so it might seem at first glance that she would be supportive of Umbridge’s “reforms;” however, she’s also been waaaaay too interested in the “who likes who” of school life, so Umbridge’s blockage of the take-notice board, and the restrictions on public displays of affection, may have put too much of a damper on Hogwarts social life for Lavender to be properly entertained by her classmates. Plus, she was asking Harry about Lily’s outfit, and whether she was romantically involved with Regulus in an earlier chapter, and this chapter has her trying to pry information about Draco’s love life out of Ron, of all people. She’s been after material to publish as Polixenes the whole time, and no one (including me) has been noticing because she was already such a gossip. Well played!

A note from Karkaroff, eh? Hopefully, he’s following in his canon self’s footsteps and betraying Gaunt, though hopefully with less getting-murdered-for-it this time. I wonder if the finale of the Triwizard Tournament made him decide to prioritize the safety of his students/community over loyalty to Gaunt. Perhaps he had some dirt about Gaunt to provide Regulus with, as leverage? And as for Regulus’s own vassal bond with Gaunt, I had rather taken it for granted he would have a Knight’s Mark, since the canon original had a Dark Mark, so it wasn’t really a surprise for me. But I can understand Hermione’s shock over it; she was seeing Regulus as a separate option from Gaunt, only to learn that Gaunt is holding something over Regulus’s head all along. Hermione’s righteous anger in that moment was a beauty and wonder to behold! The reformation will not be spellcast!

Ah, man. The reaction Gary and Rose had to learning of Harry’s love for Draco felt all too familiar, as someone who attended grade school and junior high in the 90s. Yeah, let’s just leave it at that. It’s good for that decade to stay in the past . . .

Some other, minor observations:
-Ron is so gloriously unaware of Hermione and girls in general right now, I love him for it!
-I see Qiu has finally come to terms with exactly what kind of friend Marietta is. She deserves some better friends now!
-Ron is going to $*%@ing crush some high scores at Tetris, absolutely!

—doctorlit, $*%@ing crushing some mediocre scores at Tetris

It was somewhere in the comments on a post about Anarchy Chess rules.

I'm guessing you appreciate my insight into the true origins of Mornington Crescent as a bastardisation of the noble wizard pastime of Pendragon Castle, then ;)