Subject: PPCCUU Phase 1: Overworked & Not Paid (Revised & Expanded)
Posted on: 2021-09-29 08:13:48 UTC

I'm working on getting everything into a Google Doc, and along the way I've wound up expanding all the plot descriptions into full summaries. I've also integrated the TV shows and redone the poster for PPC. Nothing but the best for you lot!

1. Pyro

We open on an idyllic rural landscape: forest in the foreground, towering mountains in the distance. We linger on this vision for several long seconds - and then a blue doorway swipes itself into existence, and two black-clad figures step out. They are Dafydd Illian and Selene Windflower.

Over the course of the movie, Dafydd and Selene introduce the audience to the PPC: they stalk a Suvian, Alumia the Woodsprite, and record charges against her. When they need to get closer to listen, they use the D.O.R.K.S. to give themselves temporary disguises. When Alumia joins the Fellowship as a Tenth Walker, they carry out a quick exorcism on Arwen, who has been possessed into a minor secondary Suvian. They are forced to use a portal to jump from the end of Moria to the outskirts of Lorien, where they watch Alumia merge herself with a tree to hide from Gollum.

By the end of the movie, both agents are distinctly on edge. Selene has even threatened to use her lightning to set Dafydd on fire. When they go to kill Alumia, they bicker so much that she has a chance to dive for cover - and then the earth shakes as she merges herself with the whole of Middle-earth. Colour begins to drain out of the movie as the Suvian's influence desaturates reality.

Dafydd and Selene stare at each other. "I don't think we can exorcise a whole planet by ourselves," says Selene.

Dafydd smiles and pulls out a communicator. "Fortunately, we're not by ourselves."

Dozens of portals open, and dozens of PPC agents pour through. They're dressed in many different ways, but each of them has brought a copy of some piece of the LotR canon. Very quickly, they're directed to different areas of Middle-earth for the exorcism.

Get out… get out… the power of Tolkien compels you!

With another earthquake, Alumia is cast back out of the ground at Dafydd's feet. He charges her, and then Selene's eyes glow red as she summons the lightning and burns the Suvian to a crisp. They watch as the colour flows back into the world, then open a portal and step back through, leaving Middle-earth empty once more.

Post-credits: A party, and our first glimpse of PPC HQ. Selene is out in the thick of things, apparently really enjoying herself. Many of the agents from the exorcism are there too. Dafydd is lurking against the wall, huddling with a drink and clearly not comfortable.

Someone else is lurking too, and she sidles over to introduce herself: Constance Sims.

TV Series 1. The Life and Times of Rhus Radicans

A series of missions by Agent Rhus Radicans, mostly with her partner Shada. The missions air in reverse chronological order, and constantly reference things that happened 'earlier' - ie, in later episodes.

Season 1 airs over the course of Phase 1. Season 2 begins after Protectors of the Plot Continuum is released, and ends right before Agent comes out. In its final episodes, it shows Radicans' handful of missions with Jay Thorntree - and in the finale, it shows the retirement of Acacia Byrd.

2. Aviator

We open in a hallway in PPC HQ. There is a thrumming noise, and then a rather battered red TARDIS materialises in a niche. The doors open, and Rina Dives steps out, followed by the Luxray Zeb. They've just completed a mission, and are quite happy to be back in HQ for some downtime.

They spend the first chunk of the movie in HQ - returning books to the Canon Library, handing in their reports to the yet-unseen Officials, grabbing a bite to eat in the Cafeteria before heading to Rudi's. The audience comes to understand that Rina is something of a maverick, while Zeb is thoroughly strait-laced. Eventually Rina gets a [beeep] on her communicator, and they return to their TARDIS for a mission.

The mission is a Bad Slash story, with a wildly OOC Harry Potter and Severus Snape, loosely based on "Little Miss Mary". Naturally there is nothing explicit in this family film, but it is definitely a slashfic, not a Sue. We re-establish the D.O.R.K.S., having Rina use it to become a wizard and use a wand - because, as she points out, this thing doesn't just disguise you, it actually turns you into what you set it to.

In the finale, Rina and Zeb exorcise Snape - only for Harry to absolutely flip out and hit them with a massive blast of fire. Rina shoves Zeb to safety and takes the full force of the blast herself. Zeb retaliates with enough lightning to knock the Wraith right out of Harry's body, then rushes to his partner. She is dying, and she says she's only glad she could save him from the same fate.

But Zeb doesn't let her go. Taking the D.O.R.K.S., he carefully programs it, then points it at Rina. She shimmers, but doesn't change, and as she falls still the audience think Zeb failed - until Rina practically explodes with massive flares of golden light.

The TARDIS doors open, and from inside comes the ominous peal of the cloister bell. Rina's regeneration glow begins to fade, and we catch our first glimpse of her new form - and then there is a bright flash of light, and both she and the TARDIS are gone, leaving Zeb alone as the badfic fades out.

Zeb returns to HQ. He delivers his report Upstairs in a listless fashion, then stumbles blindly down the corridors towards Rudi's. As he passes the Fountain of Bleepka, he hears the rising sound of a TARDIS materialising. Right in front of him, the freshly-repainted red TARDIS materialises. The doors open, and out stumbles Rina, in a black bomber jacket and aviator goggles.

"Hi, Zeb," she says, staggering. "Been a long time." And she passes out.

Post-credits: Somewhere else - a fractured space with pieces of several Word Worlds in it - a figure in a shrouding white robe holds a tetrahedron of black crystal. In it, they watch a replay of Harry's outburst and Rina's regeneration.

"That didn't go so well," they say, in a voice that's impossible to define as male or female. "I'll have to go back to more traditional methods."

In the credits, the unknown figure is listed as Mysterious Somebody.

3. Intelligence

Gaspard de Grasse sits in a waiting room, fidgeting uncomfortably. A door opens, and Jenni Robinson beckons him into her office.

Through a mix of Jenni's counselling session and flashbacks, the audience learns that Gaspard is a member of the Department of Intelligence. He has serious self-esteem issues, and often runs into issues at work because of them. The story of the DoI Starcraft Club is particularly poignant.

The reason for the counselling session is that Gaspard failed to file a report after his last mission. This is very OOC for him - and as Jenni discovers, the issue goes deeper. Gaspard barely even remembers the mission.

They work through it together. Via out-of-order flashbacks, the audience builds up the picture: a strange Factory filled with tall glass cylinders, some kind of enemies coming after him, important information that he has to get to HQ, and then a blue-black flash that throws him backwards through his exit portal.

The last piece of information Gaspard is able to recover is a single memory: of the liquid in one of the cylinders swirling, and a stunningly beautiful woman floating into view inside it. "She was a Suvian," he realises aloud. "I could practically smell the glitter." The agents realise that there is an enemy out there that the PPC knew nothing about - and that it clearly has plans for them.

Post-credits: The Mysterious Somebody walks through the Factory, stopping to examine the cylinder from Gaspard's memory. Turning, they address one of the pale figures who chased Gaspard around. "That was careless," they say. "You need to mount a tighter guard - and to step up production."

TV Series 2. Sufficiently Advanced

A semi-anthology show, with Makes-Things and assorted other technicians providing a framing device in each episode's prologue and episode. With the newly-discovered Factory threat, DoSAT are trying to upgrade the PPC's tech. Episodes are split between present upgrades and historical tech development, with different agent teams cameoing to test the upgrades in the field.

The show responds to developments in the movies, particularly in Pyro II and Agent. The finale crosses over with PPC 2: Lockdown, which introduces its core cast to the big screen.

4. Pyro II

Dafydd, Selene, and Constance are on a mission to the Discworld - Dafydd and Selene as the primary team, with Constance along for her canon knowledge. The mission, involving a Suvian named Al who inexplicably attaches herself to DEATH, goes fairly smoothly, but the agents have tension. Constance is flirting hard with Dafydd, who is responding almost as strongly. Selene is fuming, her own attempts at flirting being ignored.

The bickering continues as they take out Al - only to discover her popping up again in a second location. "This is like Alumia all over again!" Dafydd complains. "Oh, it's much worse," Selene says, glaring daggers at Constance.

By manipulating Death into helping, the agents manage to take out the infinitely-respawning Al and head back to HQ. At first, everything seems fine - but as they enter the Cafeteria, they realise that everyone seems very giggly - and there's talk of the "best PPC Agent ever" going about the place.

Fairly quickly, the ladies realise that the PPC has been infested by Suvians, who are turning the agents into their mindless slaves. They argue about what to do about it - and don't notice until it's too late the girl who comes up to Dafydd, slips a large ring onto his finger, and leads him away.

Constance and Selene have to work together to try and rescue Dafydd and drive out the Suvians. Along the way, they encounter Jaycacia Thornbyrd, the aforementioned Best Agent; she talks about her parents, but the audience don't meet them.

Eventually, Constance rescues Dafydd, while Selene teams up with a renegade Suvian named Eithriel to lure the rest into the Cafeteria and hit them with a lightning storm. Jaycacia escapes, Eithriel is recruited to the PPC, and Dafydd and Constance kiss while Selene grudgingly steps aside. The ring, unnoticed, is still on Dafydd's finger.

Post-credits: Jaycacia enters the Mysterious Somebody's fractured lair and reports that the PPC is weak, and the time is right. The Somebody points out that there are "some few agents" who pose a threat - but that they already have a solution to that in mind…

5. Protectors of the Plot Continuum

Dafydd and Constance are just settling down for a nice meal at Rudi's when Dafydd's communicator goes [BEEP!]. He is being summoned Upstairs - the Officials have a mission for him.

Constance tags along as he heads up. They reach a nondescript door and head inside - and the audience is treated to their first view of the Board of Flowers. Surprise - the PPC is really weird.

Dafydd has been summoned, along with the Aviator and Jenni, because Gaspard has gone missing while investigating a badfic. From the message he managed to send before contact was lost, the Flowers are afraid this is something that hasn't been seen for a long time: a Legendary Badfic.

Jenni gasps, but will say no more.

Dafydd and the Aviator are given the mission; Constance and Zeb refuse to let them go alone. Jenni is sent along because she knows Gaspard, and will be helpful in rescuing him. They step through the portal together - and find themselves in the world of Rose Potter, the Girl Who Lived.

As the agents carry out their duty and hunt for Gaspard, it becomes clear that Rose is aware of them: that she knows who the PPC are and what they're here for. She has control of Gaspard, making him a minor villain she repeatedly forces into humiliating duels. She doesn't act openly against them, but she sets as many obstacles in their path as she can - and then, when Ave snaps under the tension and tries to take her out early, she reveals her full power.

The mission becomes a game of high-stakes hide and seek around Hogwarts. The agents manage to rescue Gaspard, but they wind up trapped in the Great Hall while Rose breaks down the doors. "Now you will duel me, evildoers!" she declares.

The Aviator rolls her eyes. "Sure we will. Like anyone but another Suvian could beat her in a duel."

Dafydd gasps and looks down at his hand, which still bears the chunky ring from his last movie. He turns and kisses Constance, then steps out of cover and walks towards Rose.

"What are you doing?" the Aviator demands. "I literally just said you'd need a Suvian to-"

Dafydd holds up his hand, and the ring glitters. "Exactly. Now duck."

It isn't a duel. Rose showers Dafydd with spells, injuring him more and more, as he just lowers his head and walks doggedly towards her, the ring beginning to glow on his hand. Constance tries to go after him, but Jenni drags her back down. As Dafydd reaches her, Rose gasps, "You should be dead!"

"I'm an elf," Dafydd retorts, "and I don't mean one of your gremlins. Avada kevada, already." And he punches her in the face with the fiercely glowing ring.

There is a massive explosion. When it fades, both Dafydd and Rose are gone.

-- but the movie isn't quite over. Constance shakes off Jenni, staring out at the ruin with a distraught look. Then her face hardens, and she yanks out a Remote Activator and punches in a new set of coordinates.

The scene cuts to Dafydd, pale and ghostly, sitting in a grey hall that looks nothing like HQ - the Halls of Mandos, where elves go after they die. He hears something - a familiar voice, perhaps - stands, and starts to drift down the corridor.

A hand grabs his arm. "No," says Constance firmly. "You are coming with me."

Mandos, the judge of the Dead, fades out of the shadows behind them. "Only once have I answered any plea to release a woman's beloved," he says, "and you, mortal child, are no Luthien."

Constance grins and pulls out her knife. "No," she agrees. "I don't sing."

The Board of Flowers is debriefing the remainder of the mission team when a portal opens and Dafydd and Constance fall through as if they'd been pushed. As soon as they've brushed themselves off, Dafydd announces that they're retiring - and that the Flowers shouldn't even think about asking them to come back.

Mid-credits: Jaycacia and the Mysterious Somebody are watching the end of the mission in the Somebody's dark crystal. Jaycacia is worried that their plan has failed - but the Mysterious Somebody says they're entirely happy with how it went.

Post-credits: Ancient Rome. A woman with brown hair is sitting at a table on the street, carefully slicing a loaf of bread with a wicked-looking knife. Another woman, taller with red hair, sits down across from her and nods. "Acacia."


Jay Thorntree smiles at Acacia Byrd. "Things are getting a bit out of hand back home. I think we need to step in."

Acacia scowls down at her knife. "We can't leave them alone for five minutes, can we? Typical."

I'm working on giving the other three phases the same treatment, but figured I'd give you something now to keep you interested. :)


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