Subject: The End Of The PPC
Posted on: 2021-09-09 18:16:47 UTC

A/N: oh wow this still exists?? cringe tbh. to think i used to like this place lmfao. anyway here's wonderwall my new and last ppc mission

So I was flying with my girlfriend Lilith on our way to blow up Hogwarts Castle for fun. We were using our wings this time (the Tardis joyrides were getting boring), I had dragon wings and she had six angel wings. I looked at her purple eyes and went “I’m so glad I ran away with you from the PPC instead of killing you all those years ago because I saw you weren’t that bad and also you were beautiful and then you accepted me as a girl because the PPC is actually transphobic”, and she went “Thanks”, and I went “Oh actually now that I think about it it’s been exactly seven years hasn’t it”, and she went “Oh no”, and I went “What?”, and she went “Don’t mention it, something bad might ha-” and then I heard a portal open behind us and something grabbed me and everything went black.


I woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed with IVs stuck in my arm. The nurse said “Hello, how are you doing?”, and I replied “What happened?”, and she said “You were kidnapped by a Mary Sue seven years ago, and we finally tracked her back and rescued you.” I tried metalbending my shackles off, and it didn’t work, so I asked “Where are my powers?”, and she replied “We’ve been removing the glitter from you and your icky Suvian powers are gone, you must still be confused by everything that happened, don’t worry everything will be fine, also this also applies to shapeshifting powers so you’re a guy again now.” I yelled “No!”, and then I asked “What happened to Lilith?”, and she said “Oh, they killed her, you’re welcome”, and so I screamed and cried and they sedated me again.


Over the next six months I made a full recovery and went back to being a perfectly respectable PPC agent, or so they thought. Secretly, instead of killing the Sues I was sent to kill, I portaled them to a safe place and started building an army. One of them hacked my glitter monitor so it wouldn’t work anymore, and so I started building up power again. Then on one fateful day I requested an audience with all the Flowers. “Why are we all here?”, asked the Sunflower Official. “You are all here to DIE!”, I said, and pressed a button on my portal thing, and all the Sues came out of the portal and killed all the Flowers. Lilith was resurrected because it turned out the Flowers were Suefluencing everything all along. I picked up the PA system’s microphone and went “The PPC is officially disbanded because I killed all your bosses, you can do whatever you want, have fun!” Then everyone was finally free to live as they want instead of caring about other people’s fanfiction, and I kissed my gf. All was well. The end.

((I actually have a less bad version of the general idea planned for, uh, eventually. Not in my actual spinoff, just noncanonical AU fun. -owo))

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