Subject: Ambiguity happens
Author:
Posted on: 2017-05-17 17:48:00 UTC
By "nipping it in the bud" did you mean stopping the discussion, posting links to avoid confusion, or something else entirely?
- Tomash
Subject: Ambiguity happens
Author:
Posted on: 2017-05-17 17:48:00 UTC
By "nipping it in the bud" did you mean stopping the discussion, posting links to avoid confusion, or something else entirely?
- Tomash
Maybe to address the bad behaviour problem in the future, we could have someone talk to whomever was acting badly. They could ask that person questions, such as why they're doing this particular thing, how they felt at the time doing it, why they feel that way.
This is something I thought about because as tempting as it is to just call out the person like they're bad people, I think we can solve problems with less vitriol and less drama.
This may be just an obvious solution and if this was something already being done, I wasn't quite sure.
I just don't know what the exact method of mediation was being done and whether it's what I was thinking of.
In any case, if drama pops up again, I'd be willing to help.
It's been what, six years since I published something? Jesus. Well, I have some free time to write now so I can certainly give it a shot; if you like I can get in touch with you about some of my plans, there are some things I'm trying to figure out how to pull off.
When I mentioned lending an ear even when one's own opinion is different, I meant it more as just trying to be there for the other person even if you don't feel as strongly about the issue (or think neither person is especially at fault even though one or both are now upset), rather than as worrying about huge consequences for having and voicing a different opinion. And that form of commiseration often includes mentioning your own opinion as an option for what might be going on, even as you lend an ear. So, thankfully, I can say that you saw an unintentional implication in my words.
~Z, who has jet lag and is hopefully clear enough in this post to not be very confusing
Personally, I want Scapegrace gone. This is how she treats everyone, constantly, and nothing is ever done about her. It's unacceptable that she acted that way towards July, or anyone.
Apology or not, I don't feel like Scape should continue to be welcome here.
I'll yield the floor on this issue. It's not a terribly productive thing to argue about, anyway.
...the definition in Neshomeh's post? Or just that you concede the point? Or something different?
I agree with Nesh's comments on what to actually do when mutually avoiding someone to the point where I've just realized that the reply post that I set aside last night to edit or discard said almost exactly the same things. I'd really like clarity on what's going on here, for everyone's sake. The very last thing we need is more miscommunication.
~Zing
I concede the point because I think Neshomeh is right, on further though, which in itself means agreeing to abide by the stated definition.
I wanted to be sure I wasn't just reading in the implication.
~Zing
What happened to "I think we should stay out of each other's way", which you posted here?
By that, I mostly meant not directly interacting with each other, admittedly.
Hello! Thank you (assuming that message was for me otherwise I am appearing a total idiot right now)
I have been following the boards a while and would like eventually to become more involved, I love to write and have a fair few fandoms of my own.
Right now life is a bit mad but in the meantime nice to meet you all!
I didn't know you wrote, but if you ever do get writing!involved here, I'll be excited to read your work!
I know better than to ask for a full list, but what are some of your main fandoms? :)
~Zing
As noted in my response to Tomash, I've kind of stepped back from the outright "I want her gone" talk. I'll admit that was kind of a kneejerk reaction. That said, I'm still very concerned about what feels, to me, like a pattern of behaviour that's been going on for a long time with little sign of actually changing. Of course, it's not on me alone to decide what happens there, nor should it be; we're not a dictatorship here, after all.
For example, I've been attacked and insulted by her in the past and I never got so much as a whisper. But I'm content to drop the matter because I have no interest in getting dragged back into the drama; my concern is more the overall pattern of behaviour. For almost the entire time she's been here that seems to have been the pattern - attacking people, being told to stop, giving some apology, then as soon as the people telling her off turn their backs she's right back at it. I feel like it's a serious problem and it's just kicked down the road.
When you felt attacked, did you say anything? Due to cultural differences, introversion, and not wanting to raise a fuss... your being insulted may have gone without notice, or someone thought that you would say something if it bothered you.
I guess there is also the question of how much anyone can help being themselves, and how much should be tolerated.
I think the correct thing to do is say "don't talk to me."
That would be a lot more reasonable than an outright ban, and would be a clear line in the sand. I feel like I'm maybe too involved in it so I shouldn't be spearheading the whole thing, but I'd certainly be willing to help draft it if there's support.
Okay, in your draft, make it clear exactly what you expect of Scape.
It's reasonable to say she can't interact before issues are resolved.
I think, also, that Scape should give us a plan for how she plans to address the accusations that she lashes out.
Hmmm. Given her mental problems, is she capable of improving her behavior. There are chances that she may slip.
Does the board need to protect itself from Scape? Yes.
One month at a time is not unreasonable. We should at least be able to see her putting effort in improving.
Scape and I have already agreed to avoid each other, it seems. That's also why I said I really feel like someone who isn't me should spearhead any drafts written up. This isn't about me making jabs at her, attacking her, anything like that, and I'm doing my best to divorce my personal feelings from the matter at hand.
I really do need to get back on that. If nothing else, Algie and Lola haven't had a mission yet (two of their other collabs are very definitely orf) and it'd be nice to see them in a mission environment. =]
I feel I should apologise for being so slow with my writing. It's just been, y'know... stressful. And I've felt so very tired. I think it'd be productive for us to release something that can be really positive, yeah? =]
I acted appallingly. I see that now. In trying not to do something rashly and out of anger, I ended up doing something far worse, and for far more callous motives. You may rest assured that I will not do anything like that again.
I think that the board is intimidating for some of us. I recently realized that I've been here for over a year and should stop acting like a timid newbie.
((Before I had permission, there was a discussion on the permission process. I felt that I should have been more forceful then. "Shut up, it's not your problem anymore." "Excuse me, it is my problem now.))
I only looked at Jacer's permission thread, not noting who said what. The impression that I got was that the community failed Jacer as much as she failed them. It was only in a private conversation that I got a summary of why Jacer was unfit.
I feel sad that a newbie got chased off by drama. Perhaps that is why problems should be dealt with quickly.
I like to think I'm over all that, but yeah, being reminded of how people turned on me for that mistake (of wording and perhaps timing, I believe, not of intent or moral character) still sucks a whole lot.
So, thanks for apologizing. No hard feelings. I know you only meant well. *hugs offered*
~Neshomeh is at work now and can't talk much, but wanted to acknowledge that.
As has been mentioned elsewhere in this thread, making light-hearted summations of negative events feels callous and misguided at best. I feel like it's too easy to forget that people were harmed by those incidents. People who are very obviously still here. While the painful parts of our history should obviously not be forgotten, to make it a source of levity is not the right way to go about it.
PPCers are not just names on a screen. We are human beings. We have emotions and needs. We are not characters or inventions of the mind. We bleed and weep, unseen. I think it's too easy to forget that sometimes.
That is definitely the result of 2017 - 2012. I are gud at math. {= P
Bram did mention wanting to know more about it, so that makes three people who were talking about it all at once. It seemed like nipping it in the bud was a good idea.
~Neshomeh
I'm sorry that I was overly forceful over email.
I would like to try and find a way for us to be friends.
By "nipping it in the bud" did you mean stopping the discussion, posting links to avoid confusion, or something else entirely?
- Tomash
I know you are upset, and I understand why, but you've been getting more aggressive as this has gone on, and I'm worried about you. Take a break from the Board and try not to think about this thread for a while. You clearly need a chance to rest. I feel like you've been "on" non-stop since this started.
So, please take some time off, for your own well-being.
-Phobos
...to say that hS is recusing himself from this thread, and will be taking a break from the board until Friday, in line with Phobos's very good advice. I'll try to keep him entertained until then, but, well, we'll see.
And... Ducking out again.
-Kaitlyn
If it needs saying, I share Phobos' concern. Probably more than he does. {; P
~Neshomeh
I think that a sensitive approach to old problems is best. Right now, these names are like boogey-men and I'm not sure where in the archives to look for them unless someone points them out.
As much as I think "ggigling at the ghosties" is perhaps useful, perhaps a more clinical essay is the way to go. Something that condenses the problem down in a way that's easier to understand, rather than having to read the entire archives.
I'm interested in learning about incidents.
While I agree with you and I get it, this seems a bit harsh to Key, who is after all trying to help. We wanted more people to speak up. We should probably not mock them when they do, even if we don't agree with them. {= /
Also, Plort kind of does this? That's not what it's explicitly for, but I at least have encoded some of my negative experiences in that way...
~Neshomeh
The suggestion smacks way too much of "let's turn every negative thing that happens into a permanent scarlet letter".
My intent wasn't to mock, but to showcase the likely outcome (as I saw it) of the proposal. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for using Plort in this way, and for creating it in such a way that it could do so. I can't make the setting go away, but in future I will refrain from creating history for it, and will limit myself to designing shields for people.
hS
This is a fantastic idea, and in keeping with the "make a bad ting good" ethos of the PPC as a whole. Hell, I'd be inclined to whip up a pair of DoA agents commenting on proceedings, but I'm not sure how well that'd go down. Or fit with our stance on RPF. =]
Please tell me you didn't just admit to pushing through your own ban in order to set the precedent you want.
hS
Like you said, the best place to start is probably old-ish (as in, you can actually go re-read it) uncontroversial stuff (like, say zdimensia or Rifle Caliber Guy) to establish a style.
You also might want to reach out to some of the people who've been around for a long time (hS, Delta, VM, Nesh, etc.) to see if they can't think of anything important to cover from before my time.
- Tomash, who looked up that bit of Ancient Greek in a dictionary to make sure it was what he thought it was
As you yourself have apparently noted, though, it probably shouldn't be used as a gurantee that people will follow through with solving a problem, more along the lines of highlighting an issue and getting people to pay more attention to it. One idea I've experimented with once or twice before is to take the circumstances of a real-life drama, and write a PPC mission in which a character does stupid things similar to those that kicked off the drama and suffers painful consequences for it. I don't know how well that'd correspond to the seriousness at hand, or if it'll even work as a means of promoting awareness of the actual problem, but then again I'd tried that approach after the person in question had already gotten banned, and I'm pretty sure trying this idea in response to an actual drama while it's occurring would be in very bad taste as well...
This won't solve/prevent all our problems (it mostly doesn't even address the bullying issues). We should pursue multiple routes simultaneously. I think this might be a good prevention strategy/way to get people to engage with the issues.
--Key
Just goes to show that finding information that's already been written down is also sometimes a hard problem, I guess.
- Tomash
I mean, I have a list of Things I Will Make hS Do Upon My Inevitable Rise To Unimaginable Powaaaaah, but that's entirely different and involves entirely more buckets full of soapy frogs. =]
On a less facetious note, I think it's just something to bear in mind when you're posting about Serious Board Things. You've been around since 2003. That's well over a decade, which is a good couple of ice ages in internet time. When you choose to comment on stuff - especially serious stuff like the Constitution - a lot of newer members will simply lack the confidence to gainsay you. I recognise your prior experience, but I have to say it seems like you were the exception rather than the rule.
On top of what I previously mentioned, I'm now on my way to accepting the job invite I received a while ago and need to spend my time preparing for the moving. I don't have the time to participate much in these discussions, and I feel that a lot of what I've wanted to say has been said already. Perhaps I should try to rectify that once I get the time, though.
In every conflict, I always see everyone's side of the story. When I pick sides, I pick the wrong one. I don't think I would be helpful in the discussions on harassment.
The discussions on beta reading? I have no excuse there and will proceed to become an active participant. I'm sorry for my previous inactivity.
--Key
Finals, job hunting, bills, uuuuuuuuuugh.
I don't trust my judgement. I am incapable of separating fact from opinion, of being logical, of doing things in any way other than by gut instinct. That is not the kind of thing anyone needs in the decision-making process. Therefore, I have attempted to stay out of this thread.
This entire discussion came about because of my actions, which is why I neglected to participate to start with, and then when I did, I made the horrible mistake of sharing information that was not mine to give.
So I'm staying out of the rest.
I'm not even going to try and excuse that. You guys both put so much work into trying to make the PPC run smoothly because nobody else will. And I'm recognizing that, and recognizing I am very good at making a bad situation worse, so I'll step away from it to let the more experienced ones do their thing and not complain.
As for Ekyl, whatever. His PMed apology seemed sincere.
Even assuming good faith and interpreting this remark as sympathetic, which is rather a stretch, it's still condescending. Either un-recuse yourself and voice your thoughts in a constructive way or else shut up.
~Neshomeh
I will be putting up analyses of the various points made by hS over the course of the next couple of days. Please don't expect anything immediately; I need the required grounding in the PPC Constitution, which will take me a little while to properly process. I realise now that the solution isn't found in turtling up, but to actually learn about it and do something.
Also, I think an apology regarding my post is in order. I admit to finding hS's post (when I got around to reading it) extremely passive-aggressive and patronising, but that isn't an excuse for responding in kind. I'm sorry for what I said.
I just sent him an @ so he might look in here.
This was done at Nord Ronnoc's request. He now feels that sufficient information has been redacted from all current posts to protect his privacy.
...I would like to apologize for spilling these issues in the first place. I thought Nord's issues were common knowledge in the PPC, due both to past habits and things said in the IRC channels. I also felt it was relevant information to bring up in this context.
I'll try not to do that again in the future.
I was also going to ask that anyone who has any light to shed on this situation as it intersects with the PPC here and now, please do so. Right now, all we've really got to go on is the word of two people who don't like each other, with the obvious bias that entails. Has anyone else had any problems with either or both of these two in the chat? (I hope not.) Or, would anyone care to vouch for their conduct lately?
~Neshomeh
I realize tone doesn't carry well, but it was more of an expression of exasperation. Followed up by saying I don't actually want to do it. But if it makes anyone take this situation a bit more seriously, I'll be pleased.
~Neshomeh
That is all.
Because even joking about death threats (which is what I suspect you were doing?) may be considered not cool (e.g., see article 1.5 of our Constitution), and asking someone not to is pretty legitimate in my book. What do you mean by "moral guardianship"?
~Neshomeh
Good: it would've saved me a lot of grief if only that had happened sooner.
Nord Ronnoc has not said it in this thread, or said he wants it to be shared in this thread. So no, you don't get to do so. Just like people aren't allowed to splash Boarder's full names all over the place, or disclose things that have happened to them.
hS
... but "Boarder's" somehow put the thought of some sort of dimension-hopping superhero that goes by Boarder (whose full names should not be splashed all over the place, obviously) in my head, given the context it was in.
In addition, I call on everyone involved to go carefully re-read the chat long. What you did may be worse than what you remember doing or what you thought you did at the time. I know that applies to my case.
I feel that you are doing your best, and I think you've improved your control significantly in the time I've known you. As far as I know, that's even without much of an IRL support system, so I find it pretty admirable. Don't stop. {= )
~Neshomeh
I was a complete idiot. It was a bad idea, if not, if you'll pardon my saying so, done with malicious intent. It was a stupid decision on top of several other stupid decisions I had made beforehand. I'm sorry.
You stated directly in the Discord that your intent was to get around a (potential) ban imposed by the PPC community at large, and to show that it couldn't work. To me, that sounds like a direct attempt to break a rule of the PPC because you don't like it, which... I would call fairly malicious? So can you please clarify what you mean by 'malicious intent', and where (if anywhere) my understanding given above is incorrect.
hS
From my perspective, a whole bunch of people were about to be slapped with a potentially months-long ban for just being in the chat at that time, regardless of what they said or what they were thinking. At that point, I did (and still do) think what I had done was incredibly stupid, so even if I didn't particularly want to be banned, I was willing to put up with it, but I thought just smacking down everyone wasn't particularly just, and so I thought that rather than just sit around and talk about it and ending up being shouted down, I was going to do something to rectify it. Like I said, stupid. You want to call it malicious? ... Honestly, I don't really care. Call it what you want, I've said my piece.
My thought on malicious intent is that it is done specifically to hurt someone or a group of someones. My intent was to keep a group of someones from being hurt.
Re: "manipulative liar", I was saying the accusations of disingenuousness and manipulative behaviour were themselves, in effect, people calling me a manipulative liar.
Well, you know what I mean. I was referring to people like Doclit who have called me such right to my face, but also saying that literally by definition that was what people were calling me by calling me disingenous and manipulative. Key word was, of course.
The lack of response was really just because there wasn't much to actually say to this, it's pretty open and shut.
There was also that time I got very drunk and spent a while in the discord yelling apologies and being miserable about what an evil piece of garbage I am. Though that one might not count because of the altered mental state.
...I regret that post, and agree that confirmation bias was a strong motivator behind it.
I therefore unreservedly apologise both to JulyFlame, for accusing her of being a problem when she was, in fact, the victim; and to the community, for my idiocy in continuing to take a troll seriously despite everything they did.
In future, I fully intend to engage in this kind of discussion less rashly than I did this time around. I will endeavour to never again pass premature judgement. I will, of course, accept any sanction the community chooses to impose on me.
I've addressed parts of this here (and some related comments). In general, I don't really know what people are talking about here. It's pretty much coming off as my being attacked because people are perceived as listening to me - which I'm sure isn't the intent.
hS
I prefer to post on stuff like this only when I've got my thoughts sufficiently in order to be helpful, and I've been either too busy or too distracted to wrangle them into line for nearly three weeks now.
I have been doing my best to keep up, though, and I should be able to join in no later than next Tuesday, barring any unexpected complications.
Thank you for all the help you've been able to give in the Discord. I hope everything eventually pulls together for you.
For what it's worth, I think you're being too hard on yourself, and I'm sorry for not saying so sooner. Take care.
~Neshomeh
We'll miss you, Key. Seconding Zing: take care of yourself.
-Alleb
P.S. If you don't mind, I'd still love to hear about Zachary's home 'verse; if and when you write more of it, feel free to send it over on Discord!
Good luck with your RL stuff.
I hope someday opening the Board and posting will no longer be nerve-wracking for you, but however things go, I wish you well.
~Zing
Mainly a lack of both time and energy to partake in serious discussions, mainly since Uni has started, and, to a lesser degree, the feeling that I would not be able to contribute much to the discussion.
I have read over the thread once or twice, and I have tired to pen down responses myself as to the problems proposed. But, to be honest, I don't know what to do to help the situation. There is no clear-cut, easy answer to these problems, and my thoughts can be generally boiled down to, "Yeah, don't do that." And that's not exactly a helpful position, is it? Saying, "yeah, don't do that," won't stop anybody from doing that. On the whole, people will make all kinds of excuses as to their behavior, and why what they are doing is totally acceptable. I don't know. I'm just at a loss for words right now. I am off tomorrow, and I swear I will read over the thread once more and actually try and contribute something to the conversation. But, that's why I have been silent this time.
Isn't any ban from which one may someday return a temporary ban? You mention below the various proposals for the length of zdimensia's ban. If none of them were "forever," those were all temporary bans, and I don't recall you being for banning her forever.
Am I missing something?
~Neshomeh
And I guess silent agreement with everything else that's being said here? People have been raising good points and phrasing things much better than I could, and it doesn't feel very productive to just keep posting "Yes, I agree with this" all over the thread.
This is an important discussion. Unfortunately, real life issues keep me from writing down my thoughts, which would mostly be repetitions of something already said elsewhere anyway. I may have mentioned occasionally that reading and writing this foreign language is a slow process for me.
HG
After all, I've only started posting today for that exact reason.
Except as implied in being banned from the PPC.
When I've said "punished", I've been thinking mostly of the Second Chance/One Last Chance language used in the Constitution, as in, saying 'this is behaviour which could if repeated lead to you being banned'. I didn't want to say "banned", because there's a lot of things that wouldn't be bannable if only done once (or even 'infrequently'). I also wanted to leave the language open for other options.
hS
Personally, I haven't been posting much on here because I've been:
a.) pouring over all the comments and trying to digest them all.
b.) refining my opinions either until they are presentable or until I decide that they are unsuitable. (I've already had enough embarrassing moments as a homeschool highschool mathematician [I'm going to have to change that title in four months] presenting completely bunk ideas.)
It's a little dizzying. ^_^;
Am I right that you're looking for us to define what "consensus" means, potentially in the Constitution, so that we all know what we need to make a final decision on any given issue going forward?
~Neshomeh
I would only add something along the lines of "overpowering the victim" to the definition of bullying.
It bears repeating that every single item on these lists has either been said to me by email, said publically on the Board, or directly observed by me - almost all of them in the last month and change. So you can of course say that you don't think it happens (I did it myself at least once), but be aware that there is at least one person who disagrees with you.
hS
It is important to acknowledge complaints and not just ignore them.
... that the PPC Board has neither an administrator nor mods? You've addressed both, and it kind of sounds like you think I'm 'in charge of the circus'? Which I'm not.
The people who need to not ignore complaints are the PPC community at large, not specific mods somewhere.
hS
Though admittedly, I did forget there wasn't as much of a power structure on the Board. It's been a bit, yeah?
I must not have noticed I wasn't logged in when I said that. Whoops! ^^;
This post comes over as quite aggressive towards either the concept of discussing the rules or the way I've tried to do it; if it's the latter, could you please... not?
hS
Rather, I wanted to make plain why I wasn't taking part in the discussions. I apologize for any offence caused.
In fact, I believe that giving Tomash only the ability to vote, but not to discuss in this thread would've been rather pointless.
His ban is only temporary, but this thread affects the community's future, perhaps indefinitely.
—doctorlit is absolutely going to contribute to this thread, but is so tired right now, he doesn't trust himself to type like a proper adult
And I, for one, invite him to post directly. Jumping through complicated hoops is just a hassle.
So, if I remember right (I "main" LaTeX or plain text for most of the writing I do these days) both Word and GDocs have a "track changes" feature, which (hopefully) tracks edit suggestions and comments. If so, we could demonstrate good beta reading by either having someone (and their betas) volunteer a well-beta'd document with all of its history intact or by creating a well-beta'd document for demonstration purposes. Then, people could look over the revision history to see how it's done.
Your idea of what I'm going to call "apprentice betas" seems like a good one. I think that, if I ever write anything, I'd be open to doing that (even though I don't fit the "experienced writers" part).
I personally believe that not taking concrit, especially when there are big issues with the relevant piece, should not be acceptable in the PPC. That's one of the typical behaviours of the authors of the badfics we mock - if the same happens in an official PPC mission it would make us all hipocrites.
Of course I don't believe this to be grounds of banning someone from the PPC - however, if there are repeated quality issues and lack of taking concrit in a spinoff, we might want to tell its author to stop releasing missions (Permission Suspended?) until the issues are solved.
First of all, thank you for your input! It's good that you're speaking up, since this is a community-wide discussion and you are part of the community just as much as me or the other folks that've been around for a long time.
However, a few words in your post caught my attention, namely "mediocrefic author that I keep talking about". It's highly likely that I'm taking that out of context or overanalyzing it, especially since I haven't been following what you've said about this author too closely, so this might be way off base, but are you looking to stir up the Fandom Police (tm) against someone? If so, that's not us (unless I've missed a memo recently).
Oh, I don't see any problem with linking a fic you think could use some concrit. I don't know if I'll be able to provide it, but I figure there might be someone here who'll have the time and fandom knowledge to give a good review.
As to RP, I think my comment on the matter was that RPs are basically a free-for-all, so we don't spork them. (Now, if you take a lightly edited RP transcript, plop it on ff.net, and call it a fanfic, you might get some criticism for it)
And the usual way to fight a Sue or Stu is to out-smart them.
To 2, I (and, from what I can tell, most other people) think the answer to that question is "No.".
To 3, I was thinking mainly in the context of mission writing.
OT: If your friend's getting random stuff posted to her account, she needs to change her password, preferably to a long, unique, random string generated and stored by a password manager
One possible solution to under par beta work is to start giving betas feedback on their feedback. That way, we would be informed if we were being useful as betas, and perhaps most critically, learn any areas where we had stepped over the line as a beta. I'll admit, I would be really fascinated to know what people thought of my beta work.
—doctorlit promises this isn't an absurd attempt to lock active writers in a long cycle of critiquing critiques of critiques before publishing, thus slowing down the rate of new missions and giving him a chance to catch up in his archive and finally reach modern-day spin-offs excellent plan I'm glad we're all agreed !
... But I think that writing bad fanfiction outside the PPC shouldn't really be punished, or even necessarily brought up here in the first place. Setting aside questions of how it would be done ("as part of your introduction post, give us your usernames so we can scrutinize anything you post in the future" is a Bad Idea for a welcoming community), there are differing opinions on what counts as "bad". Parodies involving character bashing can be funny and thought provoking even if they're "bad writing."
Apparently four out of six responders think that collusion behind the scenes is absolutely fine, so can I email you with an outline of my idea? ^_^
hS
This is a problem that I know has been lurking in this community for longer than I have. [[Personal information redacted. ~NA]]
I don't know what went on during that time, and I probably don't want to, but the fact that at least two Boarders that I know of ([[Redacted]] and myself, three if I count Lily-Gnome?) reached that point in the first place? How many other people might be affected the same way in the future? [[Sentence redacted]]
I'm not even going to touch on what happened with me. I said enough during my meltdown last month.
Admin, could you please the name from this post as well?
—doctorlit just shouldn't talk ever
You should keep talking. Your opinions are important and useful.
In this specific case, you didn't realize. Not your fault.
I really am sorry. I was just being stupid and not thinking that through. It won't happen again.
especially considering the small size of this community. [[Personal details redacted. ~NA]]
All three instances were caused by bullying behavior, as well: [[Redacted]]; a homophobe; and the backlash to your story. It's clearly our biggest weak point, but . . . I don't know how to ferret out those behaviors/the people exhibiting them going forward.
—doctorlit can't understand the impulse to do harm
I'm just . . . I can't stand the idea of losing someone I know, and I don't want a similar situation to occur again. I just don't know how to go about it.
—This is why doctorlit usually stay quiet. Harder to hurt people that way.
... and more like "the PPC tends to overlook this behavior when it happens", especially because, like you keep saying, we keep having failures to communicate.
I was thrown by "[bullying to the point of suicide] is a problem that ... has been lurking in this community" and "How many other people might be affected [by bullying to the point of suicide] the same way in the future?"
Basically, I read your post as referring back to the subject line. Sorry if that was not your intent.
~Neshomeh
Obviously no one approach is going to work for every possible issue. That's something that needs to be handled on a case by case basis. Possibly with some kind of noted scale of responses to specific incidents/behaviours? Stalking is infinitely worse than getting into an argument about a story, etc.
...could be solved, I believe, by having one third party or two act as mediator for the two in disagreement. Not everyone on Discord or the Board, at least not at first. Keeping it contained at the beginning would mean less damage spread out to others.
... did anyone ever put back the temporarily-removed open invite? I can't see it on the Wiki page, so I think it might have slipped your minds.
hS
It's in the first sentence of the section "The Discord Server".
—doctorlit is really only on Discord to read the role-play logs
Here's me doing it to Tomash. Here's me demanding that nobody leave, and decreeing how we're going to deal with the problem, which you'll note I went ahead and did despite absolutely nobody saying they actually wanted it to happen. Here's me instructing people not to discuss this thread on the Discord. Here's me insisting that there be no discussion of moderators in this thread.
As I said, I recuse myself from this part of the discussion, because I put it in primarily to let people tell me to stop.
hS
... almost everyone you've argued with on the Board is no longer here. ^_^
hS
Scurvy epidemic?
-Phobos
If it's something more akin to "the chat server is always super crowded and someone's usually ticked off, I think I'm going to make a second space where people can take a bit more time to discuss things deeply", that's a very different situation. Both of your examples are very definitely set up to make splitting problematic, but there are situations where it's really not the biggest concern on the table.
(And also, in both your examples, there's a bigger concern - the hypothetical you being a royal jerk towards newbies.)
It's not gonna make me walk out. (I should note I've been avoiding this thread because I don't think, after that and other events, that I've got any say in this until I can prove I can behave rationally.)
Contributing rationally to discussions does tend to help build the impression that you can behave rationally.
Just putting that out there.
~Neshomeh
... than what I intended to. I am not looking for anyone else to view me as able to act rationally. I am looking for approval from my own eyes. When I say I must prove it, I mean to myself.
I'm referring there to the sort of thing I said here: the question of whether it's reasonable for the chat (where most people aren't involved in the discussion at any one time, ie, it's semi-private) to pre-discuss its collective reaction to something that happens, as we saw last month.
And it is not an implication. It is a question.
hS
I don't entirely disagree with you here, but I think I'm with Delta for the most part. I feel like just up and going "people in the chat can't discuss things among themselves" is going way too far. Especially since some issues might not merit a unanimous response from the entire community, or might be specific to a few individuals.
I'm not sure what you're saying is happening. Do you mean that RPGs are being organised on the Board/Chat and then carried on by email or whatever? I'd personally consider that fine. (Since I'm just offering my opinion here, not claiming what everyone thinks.)
This thread is actually a partial way of detaching names from arguments: the only person who knows who brought what up is me, and I've tried to present both the things I agree with and the ones I don't evenly.
hS
I'm not entirely sure what I was saying, either. I have a tendency to assume the worst, so that might have shined through.
... that a month ago we had a very solid consensus against any form of moderator, which is what it sounds like you're suggesting. It was, in fact, the one point I said we shouldn't be discussing in this thread (though no, I didn't reiterate that in the thread itself), because it has recently and emphatically been resolved.
hS
I'm pretty sure we don't need to have a specific moderator title or job - indeed, doing so seems like a very bad idea. But if, say, I had done something bad, I would be equally comfortable with a small group of fellow Boarders deciding my fate (preferably who have shown themselves to be mature? Although I'd also value fresh blood on said panel too to minimize groupthink) as I would with a whole-community consensus vote. I think a smaller, more intense discussion would be more likely to come to a conclusion than a broad one.