Subject: Even more thoughts
Author:
Posted on: 2017-04-30 04:07:00 UTC

Battlefield mentality: Bad. Please don't do it. If you see people doing it, please point it out, probably with a request for folks to calm down.

Jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst of people: Also bad. Please don't do it. Same comment about calling it out if you see it.

If you're starting to think that someone's a bad person or deliberately doing bad things to you, please try to give them your perspective (possibly via an intermediary) and get theirs (and then try to understand where they're coming from/what they were thinking). I think that's a much more helpful thing to do than running around going on about how "X is a jerk", and that it would resolve a lot of conflicts. Of course, this process might reveal that X actually is a jerk, but I don't expect that to happen often, and, if it does, this exercise will give you more evidence.

Assuming things are true about people just because they or someone else said them: Not a good thing. Getting all sides of a story is important. This also ties into this trial by rumor mill stuff I complained about elsewhere. If people are saying bad things about someone else behind their back, look in to them. Get the full story. Then, if you think it's necessary, raise the situation here, so we can address it as needed.

Personal issues elsewhere: [Insert Neshomeh's comments here]

I agree that these things do need to be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

I also agree that we can't solve problems if we don't know about them. However, the Ignoring Complaints thing makes people hesitant to speak up about their problems, which makes everything worse, so that needs to be addressed too.

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