Subject: Well, now that I've been named...
Author:
Posted on: 2017-05-08 14:48:00 UTC
...I have a few cents to add to this discussion now. And I have some things to add before I finally pretend he doesn't exist because, as I figured he would, he omitted several pieces of relevant information.
"Emotional abuse: I explicitly don't recall displaying any instance emotional abuse towards him. Most of our conversations prior to the falling out were normal, to my understanding. [I don't feel that] arguments and discussions, heated at times, count as abuse[...]."
Funny thing to say, from someone who never stopped his family from bullying me and calling me a horrible person most times I said something he didn't like. I should also stress that the only reason I became his "friend" in the first place was basically because I was cowed by his mother threatening me with libel over me saying [Personal information removed. ~NA] He claims he never wanted them to, but the fact he never stopped from doing it them says something very different. I would also contend that some of his moral guardianism would count towards that (he was very insistent about not giving death threats when I mentioned scissors in relation to EA's management with their unrealistically high expectations for Dead Space 3's release).
Both of those factors led to me being in a situation where I grew afraid of saying anything that he might take offense to. if I said something too crazy, his moral guardianism would kick in. And if I got too heated, I'd deal with his family. He never stopped doing the former, and he never made any attempt to stop the latter. I think that speaks for itself, really.
"Plagiarism: It was over a collaboration for his fic series[...]. The collaboration was my idea and the final version[...] differentiate greatly from the collab. Taking inspiration and ideas from the old collaboration doesn't strike me as plagiarism. [...] After the falling out, and as far as I remember, we made a deal where I would remove said fic (I posted it after he removed it) and he would leave me alone."
That is a lie, because that was NEVER what my complaints about plagiarism were about: they were about the fact that, in a journal he posted to DeviantArt post-fallout, he stated intent to rewrite my fanfic Mass Vexations 3. This is notable since he never asked me for my permission to do so (and in fact, had stated in a Facebook PM prior to our falling out that he'd thought of it beforehand), and that it was a potential rewrite of a fic in progress no less. (And I should also clarify: he has since deleted that journal, but contrary to what he believes deleting it doesn't mean it didn't happen.) And note that he still hasn't apologized for this, and from the way he completely misrepresented what my anger was about, it's clear he still doesn't see anything wrong with what he did to my fic there. It should also be noted that his abject refusal to see anything wrong with what he did here is what has fueled my anger against him in pretty much every other situation.
Now, to be fair to him, he didn't actually follow through with that. But the mere fact that he thought of it (and in a clear bid to get back at me, no less: it's hard to think of any other reason why he titled the prospective rewrite "Retribution" when such a title would otherwise make no sense for a full sequel) and never apologized for it still angers me to this day, as some friends I talked to about this on the last day of Midwest FurFest pointed out. And on the topic of friends, literally every person I spoke to about this around the time it happened agreed with me that his actions with that journal constituted attempted theft, so I know I'm not crazy here.
THIS is what he needs to apologize for, NOT the collaboration. And he has not done so, and given how he talks about it even now I doubt he ever will.
"inciting harassment by dismissing a mental health issue."
As far as I remember this was only done in a DeviantArt PM, and that was related to the [Personal information removed. ~NA] that his mother threatened me over. In hindsight, I realize I did go too far with the [Personal information removed. ~NA] accusations, and I've avoided doing that since. That said, I don't know how the hell I would incite harrasment with that when it was over a DeviantArt PM, and that I further never made a whole campaign to decry Nord Ronnoc for that in public.
I won't say anything about spamming messages: that was a thing that happened out of frustration that literally nobody else was calling him out for his actions. It doesn't make it right, however, and for that I apologize.
At the end of the day, though, this boils down to the exact same thing that we're dealing with for Bram here: Nord is using [Personal information removed. ~NA] as an excuse not to be a better person than he is. And I'm going to say the same thing that basically the entire PPC community has been saying to Bram: it's not an excuse. With Nord's cultural awareness (he'd started to get political at some point before our fallout), he should have more awareness of societal norms, so he cannot use [Personal information removed. ~NA] as a shield with which to deflect people telling him his behavior is shitty.
Those are my two cents. Now, I'm going to proceed with HS' suggestion that I pretend he doesn't exist in the present.