Subject: I'd like to explain why you're coming off as insincere.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-05-04 15:09:00 UTC

I believe you when you say you mean it. However, there are some aspects of your posts that look doubtful. In this latest one, most of it is fine, but then at the end you tack on a deflection:

> There are people I could say are obviously insincere, but let's not go there.

Too late, you already went there. If you didn't wish to divert our attention from you to other people, you shouldn't have said this at all.

And then a bit of what looks like petulance:

> Of course, I can't actually stop you from looking at it however you choose to.

As though it doesn't matter what you do; it's all just other people taking you wrong.

It does matter. This is my attempt to show you how you can better represent yourself to us if you wish to avoid clouding the waters in the future.

In your previous post, we've got some apparent evasion:

> and I see ways the incident could have been avoided with benefit of hindsight

That is some pretty vague wording that doesn't tell me if you're taking any responsibility yourself. It could very easily be read as "I see things other people could have done differently" instead of "I see things I could have done differently." You could even have said "I see ways all of us could have helped avoid the incident," and that would have been way better.

Same deal with:

> It's still my opinion that the whole thing was down to a series of miscommunications and misinterpretations.

Are you accepting responsibility for any of these misses yourself? You may be, but it's not clear from your words. You could just as easily be blaming the problems on some magical Internet demon messing with all your heads.

So, my advice to you is to make an effort to word things more directly to say what you actually mean. Less ambiguity will help a lot.

~Neshomeh

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