Subject: Neshomeh keeps talking.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-04-28 15:31:00 UTC

On Keeping Issues Private

No clue what can be done here. It's basically up to the person with a problem to decide for themselves whether they value trying to solve the problem more than not solving it. It's a matter of weighing the potential risks and rewards of each course of action, deciding what's worth it to you, and then living with the decision.

On Ignoring Complaints

Well... I agree with the text of the original post? Specific complaints should be discussed without jumping to conclusions.

I guess I should note that I think form matters, though. If you want to be taken seriously, it helps to present your concern in a serious, straightforward manner. You can't expect people to read your mind and magically know you have a serious problem if you only talk vaguely around it or act like you're joking or don't really care that much. It's also not particularly fair to throw a huge fit and then get offended when people suggest you might be overreacting.

On Never Even Joining Abandoning Discussion

... You know, I don't think I can talk about this without ranting right now. Too many personal feelings regarding recent (and current) events.

On Bearing Grudges

I think this refers up to Statute of Limitations and Keeping Issues Private. If you've got a problem with someone and you don't do anything to resolve it, at some point you have to accept the consequences of that decision and move on.

I don't think strictly encoding the "second chance" thing is probably wise. People are complicated, behavior is nuanced. A little more wiggle-room might be acceptable for someone with more challenges to overcome, less acceptable for someone who can reasonably be expected to know better.

It depends on the severity of the offense(s), too, though. Some things may exhaust the Board's collective patience more than others.

On Lack of Reform

Again, people are complicated, behavior is nuanced. Unrepentant bad behavior should certainly not be ignored, but backsliding, even repeated backsliding, on the part of someone who is legitimately doing their best might be worth tolerating if we find them otherwise agreeable. It's hard to encode this sort of thing into a specific response or set of responses. It's got to be case by case.

~Neshomeh

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