Subject: A caution to all.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-05-01 14:31:00 UTC

(Not aimed specifically at doctorlit despite being in a reply to his post.)

While each of the incidents Ix describes are serious and bad, they are also each separate, unrelated, and very different. Please, please avoid the temptation to generalize disparate incidents into "the PPC bullies people into suicide," because it's just not true. Most of us in our decade-plus history have absolutely never done that—and no one, as far as I know, ever did anything with the serious intent of driving anyone to kill themself.

I also know of at least two PPCers who have struggled with feeling suicidal for completely un-PPC related reasons, who received support from their friends in the community. I reckon there's more I don't know about, considering our demographics encompassing teenagers and young adults of whom a fairly high proportion are in some way outcasts in Real Life, whether it's because they're on the spectrum, or queer, or just people who care a lot about stories and writing in a society that generally doesn't.

If you want to make a generalization, say rather that we're a community with a long history of welcoming outcasts and giving them a place to call home when they might not otherwise have one. For that reason, it sure sucks a lot when that gets screwed up for someone, but I don't think the screw-ups define who we are. With the rare exceptions of individuals like Jacer and recently Date Junkie, most of us are here with good (or at least neutral) intentions toward our fellow PPCers. Let's not forget that.

Let's also remember that this thread is about helping us learn to resolve issues before they get to such a serious stage. I don't think we can do that by assuming anybody wants to hurt anyone else, as would be implicit in saying we have a culture of bullying here.

We really don't. We do have a lot of people who struggle with social interaction, though, who may need to be told clearly and more than once how to do things in a constructive manner. I keep barking about communicating clearly, and that's why. IMO, it's the only way we're going to help each other learn to do this "social" thing any better.

~Neshomeh

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