Subject: Just throwing another option out for Dubious Lube:
Posted on: 2023-03-11 14:42:23 UTC

Sometimes, two or more people choose to "mop the floor" together. It's perfectly normal and natural for consenting adults to "mop the floor" together. However, it's important to choose the proper "cleaning solution" when "mopping the floor" with others, to ensure everyone is safe and comfortable while "mopping." "Mops" are rather delicate instruments, as is the "floor." It's best to avoid damage to the "mop" and the "floor," as they are both notoriously difficult to replace.

And then we can basically keep the remaining explanations and lists the same, just changing some words. For example, that first description becomes:
Lubricants can be dubious for several different reasons. The most important reason for a lubricant to be deemed dubious is that it would not, in fact, function (or function efficiently for the speed at which "mopping the floor improperly" usually occurs) as a lubricant.

And uh, yeah. Let's see FANDOM get all worked up over "mopping floors!"

—doctorlit isn't sure whether he's insulting mops or "mops" more by this comparison

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