Subject: Mary Poppins takes an interview
Posted on: 2021-08-07 03:01:34 UTC

After a brief run-in with a group of Janitorial workers protesting the unfair amounts of concert debris to clean up, one of our newer reporters managed to reach out to one of the gods and request an interview during a lucky Cafeteria break.

Mary Poppins! So, can you tell us a bit about yourself?

Huh? Oh, hello. Are you, um. Are you reporting, by any chance?

As you could probably tell. Now, about the question…

Um. Alright then. I’m Mary Poppins, and I exist.

Right. And how about before that? Any details you care to share with us?

To be honest, no.


Well, moving on, then. So what’s your opinion on the PPC, and has it changed since your delu- er, ascension? How did you feel after it?

Um. Well, it’s a strange place. I don’t think my opinion’s changed much, truth be told. I, um. I guess the place seems a bit more chaotic now? But in a stable, weirdly balanced sort of way. I think most of the change was, like, more personal than anything. (He shifts his umbrella off his shoulder, letting the point rest on the floor.)

I see. So! Let’s get to the real meaty questions.


So how’s it feel knowing you’ll die in two years?

(Mary Poppins shrugs.) Pretty terrible.

...That’s it? No further thoughts? No deep speeches from one of the Pantheon?

Not really, no. I figure at least this way, I can worry less about the future, so best not to spend too long dwelling on it. Centuries of life might appeal to some people, but I don’t think it was ever for me. Besides, stay too long and people could get desensitized.

Excuse me, centuries?


Hm. Well. Moving on, where did those fox bits of yours come from? Last time I checked, Poppins didn't have those.

Oh. Um, well. Actually, these are natural. (He shifts his tail so that it rests over his lap.) Even before the ascension, I was - er, still am, that is - a gumiho. Fox spirit. Most definitely not bloodthirsty, really. Um.

...Alright then. Explains the centuries, at least. Doesn’t it seem rather strange, though, the idea of Mary Poppins as a ‘most definitely not bloodthirsty’ fox spirit?

No more than a mountain incarnating as a cat, I think.

So you’re a field agent, right? How does your godhood affect that work?

Um. To be frank, I think it really helped. At least, I feel like I’m no longer a burden on missions anymore. Confidence does volumes for performance, it turns out.

Confidence. I see. So, any grand shows of power during field work?

Of course not, I’m still an agent, after all. There are rules and regulations to follow, and... this doesn’t change that. To be honest, I think my partner still helps me more than I help them. They were there while I tried to get my mind together, and they helped keep my… emotions in check. They’re good that way.

Right, right. So, any thoughts on the rumours circulating around that you’re actually a Time Lord?

...Pardon? Last time I checked, I wasn’t. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Any thoughts on the other gods in the Pantheon?

They, uh, seem friendly enough? Sometimes I feel like I should meet up with them more often, but our schedules rarely seem to line up.

Alright then, last question. How do you feel about those claiming you all are nothing more than Suvian infiltrators sent to undermine the stability of the PPC?

Um. I, uh, don’t think we are? It’s been weeks by now. Surely someone’s taken a CAD scan?

Have you been scanned yet?

I… think so? I got ambushed by agents with CADs, at one point. It was real awkward. But anyway, I thought you already asked the last question?


Good day to you.

You too. Take care of yourself.


((Seriously, though. Glad to see this little storyline-type thing coming to a close, hopefully I’ll actually be able to contribute more this time around. Thanks! And here’s hoping I didn’t mess this up much; I think I’m a bit rusty, to be honest.))


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